Gwyneth Paltrow has been promoting the 15th anniversary of Goop and also their new product line, good.clean.goop, which Maria talked about yesterday in Celebrity Social Media. G is going mass, only in her new interview with Bustle, she doesn’t want to call it that, even though that’s exactly what it is – because it’ll be available at Target, with a Target price point. 


“I am thinking about just being able to reach more people. I’m so passionate about what we do and being able to offer product that isn’t going to f*ck up someone’s endocrine system. So I can understand that idea, but I don’t think of it as us going mass. I just think of it as us being able to offer something that can be more broadly consumed, which I guess is kind of…”

Mass. It’s mass. But she insists… 

“I just didn’t approach it like that, like “Let’s go mass.”

It’s lifestyle influencers and their wordplay. Just like it is with the word “clean”. And “wellness”. And attaching a value system to these words that makes people, mostly women, measure themselves by that value …and buy accordingly. 


In this case, Gwyneth rejects the value system that comes with the word “mass” – because of course there’s the suggestion there that “mass” means less exclusive, and also greedy. And as she says later in the interview, “Money has never been my thing. It’s never been my driver”. Says the girl who has always had money. It’s the attitude of the aristocrat. “Oh let’s not talk about money, it’s so boring!”

This has always been Gwyneth’s air. The air of privilege, the privilege of finding something so essential to so many people, and a major preoccupation for those who need more of it, not interesting. And also, in her case, the privilege to be clueless about sh-t that’s both essential and non-essential. It’s a classic Gwyneth moment in this Bustle profile when she claims to have not seen the Television Event of the Year 2021, Oprah’s interview with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. 


“Do you know I’m the only person in America that did not see that interview? Well, I didn’t watch it at the time, and now I can’t... I don’t know where to find it. I’m so out of it culturally. It’s really embarrassing.”

F-ck off, she’s not embarrassed. She’s playing like she’s embarrassed but it’s a point of pride. Like those people you meet now and again who say they don’t watch TV because they only read books or plays, implying that those who do consume popular series or music are basic. 

But at the same time, here’s Gwyneth, doing the most basic bitch thing you can do in these times – hustle on social media: filming herself, posting outfits of the month, makeup tutorials, and all that influencer content. 


Which she f-cking complains about in this interview!

“I’m on social media, but I’m really only on Instagram. The things that I follow, that come up for me, are lots of food and, you know, cool functional psychologists and psychiatrists. I end up muting a lot of things. I don’t know, I find it hard. I wish I could not be on it, but at the same time, you do want to have a sense of what’s going on. Then, of course, I need it for work, and they always make me do these stupid things on it all the time.”

This too is a goddamn privilege: imagine being that successful and bitching about the work you do that has contributed to your success. 


Anyway, the photoshoot for the piece is much more interesting – because this is Gwyneth photographed NOT in classic Gwyneth style, like quiet luxury, but instead it’s Gwyneth giving a lot of ass. 


She’s also photographed in another white outfit with her ass out. And she looks good. Especially her hair. You know why? Because she’s wearing extensions. As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’m judging her hair because she sells a line of hair products but her own hair always looks fried. But if you tell her that she’d probably say she’s too busy to care about her hair and criticising her for it is boring anyway. But definitely buy her brand of conditioner, OK? 

We're talking about this on The Squawk.