How did this pass inspection? 

Here’s the backstory, real quick, because this should not be a thing – Amber Rose was on the Make Speidi Famous Again podcast recently and here’s what she said: 

“I definitely think that Gwyneth Paltrow is ‘Becky with the good hair.’ I really feel like she’s the one who was, like, f-cking JAY Z. They were like friends, and then, like, you don’t see Gwyneth Paltrow with Beyoncé anymore. But like Beyoncé’s still with Jay.” 
Now Amber’s walking that back, with a friend telling PEOPLE that it was just a joke. Also:

… a rep for Paltrow tells PEOPLE that Rose’s allegations are “completely absurd and 100 percent false.”

A source also adds, “Gwyneth and Beyoncé and JAY Z are still very close friends so none of this makes any sense.”

Right, like the “source” isn’t also her rep? Thanks for making sure we know that Gwyneth and the Carters are still tight, Stephen Huvane. 

No but seriously, how did we even get here? Like, sure, Gwyneth is totally a Becky but… IN WHAT WORLD WOULD ANYONE SAY SHE HAS GOOD HAIR?!? Gwyneth lives the blessed life in all kinds of other ways. Taffy Brodesser-Akner, in her recent profile on G, even talked about how perfect her feet are. But hair has never been a strong Gwyneth attribute. And hair is the defining Becky attribute in that lyric. 

This has been a waste of time. But maybe we shouldn’t be all that mad about it. Because for a few hours, the Beyhive was perhaps very, very mad at Gwyneth. It’s probably one of the few occasions she’s ever had enough sense to feel any fear.