We are nowhere near Christmas but I’m sure this is what you asked for, right? Mel Gibson is playing Santa. It’s not a feel-good movie, because, well, Mel Gibson. It’s been a long time since the words “Mel Gibson” and “feel good” made sense together. The title of this movie is terrible. The story sounds like it wants to be original and doesn’t know it’s going to be compared to Billy Bob Thornton. Also, it’s filming in Canada… so, great, our country gets to host Mel Gibson! (Dlisted) 

Well this certainly shakes up the “want” vs “need” storytelling balance. Simply, what the readers/viewers/fans “wants” isn’t necessarily what they “need”. For example, the fans always want character X and character Y to fall in love and make out and f-ck and be happy. That doesn’t make for a good story. What the story needs is for the characters to grow, change, and sometimes that means growing and changing out of a relationship. What’s the want/need balance when fans are out there guessing and predicting plotlines though? Should you change plotlines if they’ve already posted their accurate predictions on Reddit? Is this what’s happening to Game of Thrones? (Pajiba) 

Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon were shooting their Apple series in New York last night and at one point, in a scene, Jen tells a guy to f-ck off, I’m presuming because he was creeping a photo of her. How much of this was acting? (TMZ) 
Halle Berry wore a black jumpsuit to the John Wick 3 premiere. It’s sexy, she is sexy, but I’m not that excited. This is Halle’s style lane, I get it. But her lane needs an update, don’t you think? Lanes can be improved! She can do sexy, no problem! I just don’t know it has to be 2005 sexy – especially f-----ck, she could look so f-cking good in so much more! (Go Fug Yourself) 
Jacek and I once did a couples massage on holiday and it was… whatever. We barely talked to each other, or I barely talked to him because I was trying to enjoy my massage. What is the point of a couple’s massage?! A couples colonic, on the other hand, I might be into. I’ve never had a colonic, for starters. And I think it’d be hilarious to do it together. Like, are you feeling what I’m feeling? Are you releasing as much as I’m releasing? (Cele|bitchy) 

This is your long read for the weekend. Don’t read it until you can enjoy it, in your favourite reading spot, and have eliminated all possibility for interruption. Because here’s what it’s about: WAS SHAKESPEARE A WOMAN!? (The Atlantic)