I wanted to finish this year off with a letter to you and a recap of what I feel is the most important lesson we learned in 2017. With the ongoing LaineyGossip theme of Show Your Work and the ever strong #metoo movement that took the end of the year by storm, I feel it is important to remind ourselves that we are all deserving. We are deserving of respect, we are deserving of love. However, as much as we are deserving of this from other people, we are deserving of this from ourselves.
I was at my studio’s Christmas party this weekend surrounded by beautiful, strong women whom I am blessed to work alongside each and every day. I had recently gone through a really rough patch in my life and found I couldn’t control my anxiety and depression anymore on my own so I was well into my counseling sessions and had just started back on medication to help. As you all know, I am very open about my own struggles with anxiety, so I did not keep it from the girls at work but rather leaned on them for support.
During dinner, a co-worker of mine started opening up, sharing how, to her, it seems as though every other woman in this world has their sh-t together except her. She feels like she is walking around without a clue as to what she is doing while watching every other woman live life with ease, attend events with confidence, network with grace and grow their businesses while looking absolutely perfect. Her words to me were, “I wear sweatpants! In public!”
She said when she first met me I intimidated her and she had no idea I struggled in the same ways as she did. She then asked, “Why can’t woman just be real with each other? Why can’t we share with each other that none of us know what the f*ck we are doing? Why do we have to pretend like everything is perfect? Why don’t we just share our sh-t?”
It’s true, there would be a lot less pressure on us if we were all honest, because we all are dealing with things, but unless you are one of my closest friends I am probably not going to share with you how I sit and stare at my phone waiting for my ex-boyfriend to call me after a breakup. Or post it on Instagram! Instead, I am going to pretend that I’m nailing this and life is easy. My anxiety and depression came on full force this Christmas and in the process I lost 15 pounds. Ironically, it is when I find myself in these dark holes that people tell me how great I look. Just the other day a woman came up to me before I taught a class and asked me what I was doing to look so amazing. Little did she know I had just spent 10 minutes in the back office, crying.
So the lesson here is we all have our sh-t, and we should remember that the next time we look at someone whose life looks perfect. We need to focus more on what we are accomplishing in life versus what we haven’t. We need to stop comparing ourselves to a fake reality. As my good friend just texted me today, “Stop thinking. Just be.”
My Christmas wish is that as you all sit down in reflection of this past year and create your goals and ambitions for 2018, remind yourself that you are great. That the person you are, today, is perfect. That you are deserving of laughter, love, respect and health. That you don’t need to change anything about who you are.
Happy Holidays to each and every one of you and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading these words. For listening to my thoughts and beliefs and for trusting me to guide you towards whatever it is you are trying to reach. Remember, you can always reach me at [email protected].