AND cute kids. The new Harry Styles video has assembled all things adorable to blatantly pander to his cupcake-loving, puppy-loving, children-in-suits-loving fan base… aka everyone. He is pandering to everyone. Teenage girls may have willed this video into existence but find me a person who doesn’t like cupcakes or puppies or little kids. You can dislike one of the three but not all three. There is no way anyone hates all three of these things unless their name is Satan.
The song is called Kiwi and despite catching feelings for Harry Styles in August, I have yet to listen to his full solo album. Watching the Kiwi music video was also the first time I heard Kiwi the song and maybe it’s the kids or the cupcakes or the puppies but I’m really into it.
It opens with a pint-sized Harry Styles lookalike rocking a mini version of the blue floral Gucci suit Harry has been wearing on tour (they’re either the same of very similar, don’t @ me). Mini Harry is played by Rogue One’s Beau Gadson and I love that a) the star of this music video is a little girl and b) Harry Styles doesn’t mind that his younger self is being played by a little girl, as he shouldn’t. I mean, HOW CUTE ARE THEY? COME ON.
I also love the diversity of the kids in the cupcake war. Oh yeah, the entire video is one big multicultural, adorable food fight. I’ve seen some comparisons to Dunkirk on Twitter but I think that’s a stretch. Also a stretch? The puppies. The puppies make no sense. There is no logical reason to bring puppies to a food fight other than to make me feel things in my downstairs region. It worked. I was manipulated to swoon and I’m not even mad at it.
In other random Harry Styles food news, people are now throwing kiwis (yes, the actual fruit) on stage during his shows. He slipped on one mid-performance and now a grocery store in Manchester is asking anyone under 25 who buys kiwis to explain themselves. If they’re buying kiwis to throw at Harry Styles, they’ll have to find another grocery store. The store’s rep even released the corniest statement about catching “bad kiwis.” This is f-cking hysterical. Before you judge the fans throwing fruit at their idol though, I must admit that I don’t know for sure that I wouldn’t have done the same. Fandom’s a helluva drug.
Watch the entire video below and let me know if it inspires you to throw food around.
Here's Harry performing at the Music Industry Trust Awards earlier this week.