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Dear Gossips,

Kelsey Grammer is apparently in a hurry to get married again. He’s 55. Like a pussy he abandoned his wife this summer over text message for a 29 year old who was pregnant and subsequently lost their baby and is now rushing through his divorce so that he and “Kayte” can marry as quickly as possible. Because they’re “in love” and can’t wait a minute longer to make that sh-t official.

Actors really are so good at delusion and self-deception. I mean, in Kelsey’s case, he really would have to be, non? To actually believe that a 29 year old girl would feel the same way about him even if he wasn’t worth $100 million???

Kelsey Grammer is governed by a receding hairline and a shrinking penis. I don’t know what else there is, although it’s fascinating to me how the editors at mainstream publications like People.com can post these kinds of articles – click here– without a trace of an eyeroll. Really?

As for Reese Witherspoon’s engagement – you see how gossip plays out over time? More on this later.

And what is Ashton Kutcher going on about now? Something about Armageddon. Something about how he’s prepared for it. For a not too distant future when electricity will die and he’ll be forced to defend his multimillion dollar mansion in Beverly Hills with nothing but his bare hands and some abs…? (source) This is what happens when you’re young, bored, and aren’t allowed to cheat anymore.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

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