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Dear Gossips,

I am a suspicious bitch. And if yesterday was any indication, the next few days will be rough. First I was too busy cranking out on my blackberry in the cab on the way from the airport to notice that he was taking the long route. By the time we ended up at the hotel, I paid $75 for a ride that normally costs $50. F-cker.

Then while unpacking I realised I’d forgotten all my makeup. ALL OF IT. Everything. Including CONCEALER! Because I have that giant pimple, right? Oh and by the way, upon closer obsessive inspection (thank you for all your zit zapping suggestions!), I’ve realised that said monster pimple is actually two monster pimples clustered together… like Ebola and her sister Nicky Hilton. Sibling diseases infesting my face. Great.

Finally, in addition to not packing makeup, I also discovered after changing into gym clothes for a quick pound on the treadmill, that – UGH!!!! – I’d also left behind my trainers! Now I’m making do with $50 Asics from the Discount Show Warehouse that will probably f-ck up my knees.

How to deal?

The Chelsea Handler way: Vodka.

It was wall to wall celebrities last night at the signature pre-Oscar week Grey Goose party. Last year Madonna showed up while Drew Barrymore was celebrating her birthday with Cameron Diaz and Javier Bardem. This year, Grey Goose kicked off three days of star decadence at the newly opened Cecconi’s with a very strong star turnout that included… Robert Pattinson. More on that later. The Brit Awards first. Yes ladies and cougars, I’m making you wait. He did look clean though. Does that help?

Thursday – am blogging all day between shoots. Check late posts from yesterday!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Many of you expressed sadness about Mickey Rourke’s Ebola Paris Hilton infection resulting in the loss of Loki and the possible loss of Oscar on Sunday. Perhaps however there’s another way to interpret Loki’s death. What if Loki’s passing was the ultimate sacrifice? Marcus my sh-t eating beagle is too selfish, but Loki seemed loving and considerate and maybe, by laying down her own life, and it was a long, loved life, in absorbing the brunt of Ebola’s deadliness, maybe Loki gave Mickey her final gift. This is why a dog is man’s best friend.

PPS. Three sleeps until Oscar. Herbal Essences is sponsoring our coverage Monday to round out their hair trends feature. Be sure to check it out here. And have you filled out your Annual Contest ballot?

PPPS. Susan Sarandon is not cuckolding Tim Robbins.

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