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Dear Gossips,

So they’ve finally removed Paris Hilton from that cushy little room at the infirmary and transferred her back to Lynnwood where she’ll likely serve out the remainder of her sentence in solitary, on a hard little bed hopefully with her head beside a festering toilet.

Our last days of joy before her disease lashes out in freedom, stronger than ever, with that greedy little fool Barbara Walters shoved half way up her ass. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Sorry… have been distracted the last few days trying to get over a new book and it’s time for a new recommendation anyway. The Post Birthday World by Lionel Shriver – an extremely uncomfortable read, as is the case with everything else she writes including of course We Need to Talk About Kevin. She has that gift of sneaking up on you, subtly forcing you to confront the worst parts of yourself, the parts so easy to suppress during a dinner party as you collectively rage against the common enemy only to realise later on that you have more in common with it than you think. Definitely NOT a beach read but a read that stays with you for ages.

Thursday, posting all day, refresh browser often.

Yours in gossip,
Lainey

PS. Thanks to what seems like the entire city of Calgary for the thorough, insightful description of Cowboys. Hot girls who rub up against dude for big tips – as much at $10K during Stampede – and who apparently get half a boob job paid for if they stay six months … sounds like my kind of place. Am headed to Calgary late July…will have to drop in.

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