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Dear Gossips,

How will TV go on without the Mighty Opes? Who will tell the MiniVan Majority what to read? Who will remind them that they should love themselves and celebrate the angels inside their souls? This is troubling. Because while you know I’m not down with Her Mightiness, it frightens me that Tyra is now being spoken of as Her heir. Can you imagine a generation of MiniVan Members hanging off of Tyra’s every word? Shiloh help us all.

Oprah says She’s shutting down on September 9, 2011. So we have just shy of two years to go and it will be shoved down our throats – best of episodes, tears, car giveaways, and every celebrity dragging ass to pay homage to the Big O before She repackages a “new” one on Her own f-cking network. And it’ll be like She never left. Wonder what the ad rates are going to be leading up to the final episodes. She’ll probably set a new daytime record.

It’s Friday. Please scroll down for late posts from yesterday. Will try to send you off on your weekend with some new hatemail in response to my New Moon review. I totally forgot one crucial part though. More on that later.

By the way, critics might not be loving New Moon but they are hating Planet 51 even more. Who’s in Planet 51? That’s right. Shelf Ass Jessica Biel. And she’s getting crushed this weekend by New Moon, expected to gross at least $80 million this weekend, projected by some to go way, way north of that.

You see now why Shelfy clings? You see now why she’s engineers her f-ckery? What else can she do?

Have a great weekend.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

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