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Dear Gossips,

Last week it was the headline f-ckery – click here for a refresher - and this week it’s an exclusive interview with Chris Brown and his mother, going so far as to print his statements in defence against criticism he received about claiming he did not remember beating Rihanna during his interview with Larry King.

As you know, the interview airs tomorrow. A one minute clip was released on Monday with an inarticulate Brown unable to describe under Larry’s soft questioning exactly what went down the night he abused his girlfriend.

Brown was immediately called out for it, even by Ryan Seacrest, generally a sycophant without the balls to have an opinion.

So Chris Brown ran to People.com, delivering a lengthy explanation that his words were taken out of context, pleading with the MiniVan to forgive him, promising he would fulfill God’s destiny. After all, his mom wrote in a statement last week that “this whole thing isn't about Chris, it's about God. He wants to show all of you the goodness of him through Chris.”

God’s work through Chris Brown via People Magazine?

It’s like People is his mouthpiece now. Totally onside with the Chris Brown rehabilitation program, eager to help restore his popularity, not interested at all in asking the tough questions and never demanding the appropriate contrition.

Not surprising. People’s philosophy is to live inside the celebrity anal cavity. Yay for People Magazine! Yay for beating down your girlfriend!

It’s Tuesday – am home, am online all day, check back often.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

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