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Me too! Me too! Love love love my queer boys! Except that I wish Jessie could find a better homo. Seriously, everything about Ken Paves (her hairstylist) gives me the willies. From the gaunt, stubbled face, to the too-thin-to-be-natural frame, to the Euro pointy man-flats which might be all the rage on the continent and among the greasy guido set but really don"t do anything for your standard North American. No, gossips. Ken Paves is pure oil. Marc Anthony"s long lost soul mate. And he has the misfortune of nursing Jessica Simpson through her post-divorce down time as she regroups and refocuses on her career. Those rumours about Adam Levine at the Roosevelt Hotel? I have no idea either way. But I f&cking hope not. Even for a skank bitch like Jess. Never mind that he"s a d-o-double-g. Never mind that the man"s body is far, far from a man"s body. It"s the voice that turns me off. It"s that irritating screech. On Al Green it"s one thing. On a white dude with big ears making up for lost time in high school, it"s another matter entirely. Yes, gossips. Jessie can do way better. As can Nick, who has indeed hooked up with Miss Kentucky 01 and is getting some real Southern loving for a change. Don"t however be too quick to assume that this isn"t yet another engineered plot by Daddy Joe. Since people have spent more time ridiculing his daughter"s lips than empathising about her breakup, it would not be a stretch for Joe the Master to ensure that Nick comes out the playboy while Jessica finds support among the gays. And finally…please don"t be mad at me when I say this but I am loving this new weave, especially when it"s blown out straight. Doesn"t she look lovely? Minus the low classy hooker platforms, of course. Call me unfashionable - and I don"t care if they"re worth $500 - but not only do these things make her legs look short, they also scream "pin "em behind my ears and have your way, hard and dirty just the way I like it." Now for a girl who is trying to remodel her image, it wouldn"t be a bad idea to stop reminding people she"s as loose as they come, don"t you think??

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