The problem with adoring a celebrity couple is not that you might go too easy on them. The problem is that you collect up all kinds of information, in kind of the same way you did about an eighth-grade crush, and can’t keep yourself from spitting it out at the least provocation.
For example, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen had a baby boy last week and named him Miles Theodore Stephens (because ‘Legend’ still isn’t their real last name, even if it should be). They knew he would be a boy. I know this because years ago, when Chrissy mused online about how nice it would be to have a baby brother for Luna, she got predictably internet-shamed, all “omg why wouldn’t you have another girl they are great smh so sexist” (note: not a direct quote). And Chrissy clapped back, informing the woman that she would like for Luna to have a baby brother because a male embryo was what they had stored from her previous IVF.
So. They have a baby boy. And they had a lot to live up to name-wise because Luna Simone is a pretty great name. Even if her last name isn’t actually Legend.
And so the new baby is Miles Theodore Stephens, and last night on the Billboard Music Awards carpet John explained to E!:
"Miles of course is the same name as the great Miles Davis and Chrissy really liked the name Theodore, so we put it all together and had Miles Theodore Stephens," the star continued. "When he came out and we hung out with him for a little while, we were like, 'He looks like a Miles.'"
It’s a great name, though obviously I have some personal bias in favor of certain parts of it. Not quite as standout, maybe, as Luna, which is notably unusual while simultaneously being totally easy and useable, but Luna and Miles have a sort of link in terms of both being of the world and or the distance to the moon or… fine, it’s a thin link, but it’s not like Luna and Davis would have been closer. Her name is, in my very personal opinion, a liiiittle better than his, but hey, she got here first, so why shouldn’t she have it best?
That said, the best part of this name announcement was of course not the name itself, nor was it the explanation of the name on the red carpet, it was Miles Theodore’s mother reacting to the explanation via Twitter:
wow didn’t u just have a baby John smh go take care of it !!!!!! disgusting pic.twitter.com/l20XJGQ2Fu— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) May 20, 2018
Sorry, this is why I am embarrassingly in love with them. This is why Luna and Miles are way, way ahead of the game. These are the people who are raising them, and casually pointing out double standards and stereotypes that make Legend a ‘loving dad’ even though he’s out four-odd days after his son’s birth, in contrast to the scandal when Legend and Teigen went to dinner a week or so after Luna was born. But it’s all OK as long as he has a wifey at home to take care of the baby, right?
But again – not worried. These guys are gonna be just fine, raised by the most amused and self-aware parents in the biz. Miles Theodore, you have a great name, but more importantly, a high standard of awesome to live up to.