Earlier this month, Lainey wrote that Justin Theroux’s new New York image is starting to feel like a joke. He’s super arty and edgy now if you haven’t heard. That’s why he couldn’t stay married to Jennifer Aniston. She was too LA for him. Since their breakup, Justin has been leaning into his east coast cool image, HARD. So much so that it’s laughable. Today, Justin Theroux’s new image did in fact make me laugh. HARD.
Here he is strolling through New York with his bike (biking is SO New York), a possible date and the funniest of all, a sleeveless muscle t-shirt featuring none other than the Godfather of Gangsta Rap, Eazy-E. RIP. I’m hesitant to tell you why I laughed so hard at Justin Theroux in these pictures in that t-shirt. Aside from the fact that muscle tees look ridiculous on grown ass men in any scenario, my laughter had to do with Justin’s maybe date. Hey black people, you know when you get in a cab or a car service and the driver immediately switches the radio over to the hip-hop station? Justin Theroux’s Eazy-E shirt feels like the physical embodiment of that. Maybe that’s unfair. Maybe Justin wears this Eazy-E tee all the time and not just when he’s hanging out with his black friends. He probably does. I just laughed a lot because we all *know* that guy – the guy who tries SO hard to be down. Considering how hard Justin is trying at showing us how New York he is, I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to assume that he’s that guy.
Also funny? Justin is trying to prove he’s the most New York person to ever live in New York and yet, he’s wearing the face of West Coast rap on his chest. Hahahahaha.
Now, let’s move on to our favourite game: Photo Assumption. Page Six has shut down the Aubrey Plaza rumours so by all accounts, he’s still single. Justin Theroux and his mystery woman (no one has ID’d her yet) look relaxed and cute together. She is STUNNING (wearing an outfit I would totally rock on a date) and she seems super into him by the way she’s leaning into him and laughing at his jokes. The Daily Mail also has a video.
At about the 10 second mark, the way she says, “Oh really?” with the enthusiasm of someone trying to make someone else feel interesting makes me think that this was in fact a date. She also seems like she’s learning new things about him through her reactions. So, she’s either a new friend or we’re talking first date. We know that Photo Assumption can be unreliable though. At the end of the video when they part ways, their hug is not very romantic. Maybe she’s just one of Justin’s New York “arty and edgy” friends. She also looks young – a lot younger than Justin – so that could be why he’s trying to be so hip with his Eazy-E muscle tee.
Attached - Justin out in New York the other day.