It was announced on Friday that Justin Timberlake is coming out with a book. What’s it about? WHAT DO YOU THINK IT’S ABOUT? His favourite topic: himself. If there’s anyone who can reliably be a cliché, it’s Justin Timberlake. Which is why the title of the book is as derivative as you’d expect: Hindsight & All The Things I Can’t See In Front Of Me. It’s performed profundity from man of the woods who thinks wearing plaid suddenly makes him a thinker. Pretty much exactly who Rodin was envisioning over a hundred years ago. 

What, then, can we learn from Justin Timberlake that we didn’t already know? Well, the book is a collection of personal photos along with anecdotes that will tell the story of his life and career. As he says in the press release:

“Working on this book was an amazing process for me. My story has been filled with so many amazing people that have helped me become the artist I am today. Reflecting on those moments, spotlighting some of the important people and places that have informed my music, and getting the opportunity to share my story is something I am very grateful for.” 

OH REALLY. Does February 1, 2004 come up? 


Because if you’re the calling the book Hindsight, then it’s presumably about looking back and reflection – and when we do that, we re-examine our mistakes and our shortcomings through the lens of experience and regret. #NeverForget This is how we grow. So is this, finally, when Justin Timberlake acknowledges that he was a f-cking jackass to Janet Jackson? When he left her for dead, hung her out to dry, and smirked his way to the top of the charts? If he does mention Janet and the Super Bowl, what are the chances that he considers his behaviour with any kind of objectivity? Or will it be more like his interview with Zane Lowe back in January, while promoting Man of the Woods (an album NOBODY CARES ABOUT), when he claimed he’d “made peace” with Janet but that he never talked about it because he was trying to respect her. This f-cking guy. 

As for why now, why the Hindsight, does it have anything to do with the aforementioned album that NOBODY CARES ABOUT? Travis Scott just doubled Justin’s first week sales with the release of Astroworld, the second best album release of the year, after Drake’s Scorpion. JT does not want to put his numbers up against Scorpion, not commercially or critically. There were no songs on Man of the Woods that have made a difference in the zeitgeist. There are no moments from this album cycle that mattered in pop culture. Not sure if a book will change any of that. But it smells a lot like JT is trying to cling to relevance. I wonder if he’s thirsty enough to be campaigning behind the scenes to be declared PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive. Dude, by all means, please, be the follow-up to Blake Shelton. It would make my life.