- F*ck him. As far as I’m concerned there are zero arguments in favour of Justin Timberlake being named the Sexiest Man Alive. But the truth is, this is a minority opinion. Especially not with the MiniVan Majority. Which is what PEOPLE caters to.
- He’s in the new Woody Allen movie, Wonder Wheel, coming out in early December. The timing checks out.
- It’s rumoured that he’s releasing a new album. The timing for that checks out too.
- He is, unfortunately, headlining the Super Bowl halftime show. He’s yet to give an interview about the show. This could be a good way to get all that promotion in.
- If Adam Levine can be the Sexiest Man Alive, I suppose PEOPLE could mount a strong enough argument to give it to Justin Timberlake.
- Does he want it? Well, that depends. What is Justin Timberlake’s favourite word? Answer: “me”. Of course he f-cking wants it. Of course he would say yes. Of course he would give them whatever they want – interview, photos, nothing would make him happier.
- Janet Jackson. If enough people care about that. I do. Many of you do. But probably many more don’t give a sh-t. There were a LOT of people celebrating the day he was announced for the Super Bowl. Those are the people who read PEOPLE Magazine.
- This is a longshot but there may be a few out there who still don’t see JT as a grownup, even though he’s in his 30s now. That’s what happens when you’re famous from such a young age. It’s hard to “mature” in front of an audience. You can remain stuck in adolescence. Especially if you act a fool like he does so often.
These are admittedly weak arguments against, though. To my great disappointment. You just have to remember who the selection committee is and who they’re selecting for. PEOPLE’s readers don’t care that JT left Janet for dead. They don’t subscribe to #NeverForget. This is the best chance he’s ever had at the SMA. And he just might get it.
Odds: 5 to 1