Disclaimer: This article was posted during an early period of the site when some of the writing was extremely offensive. Since then our site has grown and evolved. We have apologised, continue to take accountability, and documented our changes. Please see our FAQ on our About page for our formal statement.

For the rest of the world, most of the time, babies are conceived when two people get together and have sex. On occasion, when that isn’t successful, science is involved. These procedures however do not include purging aliens from our reproductive tracts. Unless of course you’re a member of the Church of Xenu. 

Evidently, the presence of alien invasion is prohibiting Katie Holmes from giving Tom Cruise another child. So according to Page Six she’s currently undergoing an intense round of “auditing” to begin the process of getting pregnant, ensuring that the new child she brings into the world will not be impeded by Thetan influence. Or is it the other way around? Thetan good, Xenu bad? Vice versa? No matter. The point is, they want an heir to Little Sci. Little Spare!

You may have heard that Tom has recently confirmed Mission Impossible 4. They’re aiming to shoot this summer and to release on Memorial Day 2011. Perfect timing. KatE gets knocked up by fall, which gives her 4 or 5 months from now to eradicate the extraterrestrials, and she gives birth around the time of the MI4 premiere. I really love when people plan ahead.


File photos attached of Katie Holmes pregnant the first time around from Bauergriffinonline.com

Share this post