Mimi returned to Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve on Sunday night. And … well…as she would say, it was a moment. Not just because she actually performed this time instead of tottering around the stage bitching about everything but because while she did hit most of her notes this time, she also bitched about how she was promised hot tea and there was no tea. It was cold as f-ck that night – it’s STILL COLD AS F-CK HERE on the east coast – and hot tea, where Mimi’s concerned, is not really all that aggressive of a demand. What’s aggressive, and so f-cking Mimi, is that she decided to share her complaint with the audience. 

“It’s a disaster!”

“I’m just gonna be like everybody else with no hot tea!”

Please understand that this wasn’t just about Mimi being a princess, Mimi acting spoiled. I mean, of course it was. But to really know Mimi, you must appreciate that it was more than just being demanding. If you know Mimi, you also should appreciate that when Mimi behaves this way, she’s also telling you about her suffering, about her pain. Pain, for her, is being “like everyone else” with no tea. Pain, for her, is carrying twins, repeatedly reminding us how she sacrificed for them, the superhuman superdiva effort that was required of her to carry them around for all those months. Because Mimi, while always a princess, is also, constantly, a MARTYR. This is, legitimately, how Mimi sees Mimi. And if you’re just calling her a princess, you’re missing the other half of her self-created identity. Which…I can’t let you do that to yourself. I can’t let you miss half the joy. 

This is why, for the second year in a row, Mimi owned New Year’s Eve. Last year may not have been the way she wanted to own it but, regardless, we’re working on a streak now. Mimi has already established her control over Christmas. Her ambitions have now been extended another full week. If this happens again next December, Mimi will be in possession of both Christmas and New Year’s Eve. Long live Mimi, the immortal. 


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