Have you heard about this yet? I screamed when I read this article. Screamed. And thumped my fists on my desk. My beloved, the immobile Mimi, is currently on tour with Lionel Richie. Her unwillingness to put any effort into her performances has become one of this summer’s best memes. Complex put together a compilation this week – this is probably the one that you’re most familiar with:

Complex also found a YouTube comparison between the energy level Mimi used to have and what she’s capable of giving now.

Which is why Complex tried to find out why Mimi’s so… unenthusiastic these days. So they asked her former creative director, Anthony Burrell, to come up with an explanation. Anthony was let go by Mimi after her shambolic appearance on New Year’s Eve.

"It's just typical Mariah," Burrell said. "Mariah is clear: when she doesn’t wanna do something, she doesn’t do it. She’s performing with lackluster and no f-cks given, and it’s taking away her star."

This is when I started screaming though:

"Working with an artist like Mariah, who’s not a mover first, it’s always a challenge to get them to think physically and not just vocally," he said. "You always have to keep in mind that they’re a singer first. The priority is not teaching them 100 counts of 8, or endless routines. I wanted to give Mariah a modern push to revamp her, give her a fresher, more modern feel, make her more aware of her body and her lines, and not look like her feet hurt when she’s walking."


It’s such a f-cking understatement. That Mimi isn’t a mover. Which is what makes this such golden shade.

And also “not look like her feet hurt when she’s walking”. Because that’s exactly what it looks like when Mimi has to walk, instead of her preferred mode of transportation – this:


#MariahCarey nos bastidores da #1ToInfinity

A post shared by Mariah Now (@mariahnow) on

Anthony is disappointed by what we’re seeing from Mimi. In his mind she’s doing herself a disservice:

"You're a legend," Burrell said. "But you don’t care, your team doesn’t care. They’re not guiding and directing her. She’s back to where she was before. It's not like she's never looked this bad before; I just stepped her game up."

Anthony Burrell is currently working with Beyoncé’s Parkwood. So, obviously, in this situation, he’s the expert. I’m not here to challenge him. But…

I mean he said it himself. She’s “not a mover first”. The person who goes to a Mimi show expecting movement is the same person who goes to a Lauryn Hill show expecting punctuality. Are you new?

I will be seeing Mimi in Toronto on August 24th. And, Christ Jesus, I am not expecting movement! In fact, I will be devastated if I see movement. What I want to see is the opposite of movement. The only movement that should be happening is the movement of the dancers who have to move HER and, of course, the movement of her hair when it’s blown by the wind machine. Also the movement of her eyelashes, when she blinks and calls it a dance step.

But why are we even asking Mimi to move? You want to see a show with movement? There are other artists who deliver on movement. Mimi will never, ever be able to match that, even if she had any f-cks to give. So, instead, she’s created her own lane. The ANTI-MOVEMENT Movement. She is the Queen of that lane. No one is better than Mimi at refusing to move. She is the very best at NOT moving. Why would you want her to stop being the best at this?