When we divide up the people we’re going to write about at LaineyGossip, some are for fighting over—wait for that later today—and some are just givens. Nobody would even have to blink before handing me Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys but you know what? I’m gonna have to make someone else write about them.

Because look. I’ve given up trying to get you to care about The Americans. Honestly truly I’m done. Do what you need to do. But can you please look at this stunning couple? She looks a little bit like an angry zombie, and she’s slouching, and there is a red stripe down her tuxedo pant!

I actually bitched yesterday that I didn’t want anyone to take the Comme Des Garçons thing so literally that we were going to see a whole bunch of suits as though it was so innovative. Trust these two to make me eat my words…but her tux is rumpled and casual and she’s staring through excellent red eye makeup like she hasn’t seen the sun for a month, and he’s just standing there beside her in his kilt.

I am obsessed. I want to know their story. I want to know whether they laugh about how people like me will react, or whether they just shrug and do whatever because it’s another press thing to get through. I wonder what they talk about.

Look, you don’t have to watch anything you don’t want to. You don’t have to like anyone you don’t want to like. But if you look at this couple and aren’t curious about them and what their life is like and the kind of things they talk about when they’re at home and he lets that Welsh burr of his out, then I have to say, you might need to examine your life and your choices a little bit.

How can you look at these people and not want to keep looking at them forever!??