Tonight is the MET Gala. Which is why we should light a candle for what happened last year at the MET Gala.

The MET Gala gave us the Summer of Swoki. Gossip owes Anna Wintour forever.

But Taylor Swift has been QUIEEEEEEEEET, non? Quieter the last couple of months than even Beyoncé. She’ll be quiet tonight too because with Katy Perry co-chairing tonight, it’s doubtful that she’s going to show. Unless of course they decide to punk us all out and be all like, “LOOK WE’RE FRIENDS AGAIN”. Which… I can’t see. Because it would be the ultimate upstage. And that works more in one person’s favour. Celebrities aren’t great at sharing.

Anyway, let’s get back to Tom Hiddleston, who danced his ass off with Taylor at the MET Gala, and segue from him to Michael Fassbender. Michael is starting to do some press for Alien: Covenant which was shot in Australia. In a new interview with Australia’s Daily Telegraph, Michael talks about surfing at Bondi Beach, being afraid of sharks, maybe doing a rom-com one day (lies), and when the journalist asks him about his “girlfriend” Alicia Vikander and whether or not they compared notes on playing a robot, he doesn’t get pissy about her coming up in conversation and compliments her performance in Ex Machina so… they’re still together?

At the end of the interview, Michael is asked about how often he’s mistaken for Tom Hiddleston. His response:

“Happens all the time. I can see the similarities, but I’m better looking than him [laughs]. Other than that, yes. I like Tom.”

A joke, obviously. But you know what scares me about this joke? Eventually someone is going to ask Tom about this joke. And Tom, because he’s Tom, will try to return the joke with a joke. And when Tom Hiddleston tries to be funny, or clever, I get fontrum. Brace yourselves for it.