After taking a few years off, Michelle Pfeiffer returned in 2017, appearing in several movies including mother! and Murder on the Orient Express. This year, she returns to comic book movies in Ant-Man and the Wasp—no one is psyched for this movie but the cast is AMAZING, so maybe we should be? I dunno, just a thought—and now she’s in talks to join Angelina Jolie in the Maleficent sequel, which I assume is called Maleficent 2: Evil Fairy Boogaloo. (Although to be fair, Maleficent wasn’t really evil in the movie.) 

Did you notice Michelle Pfeiffer was gone? She had no movies from 2014-2016, following a streak of high-profile gigs in 2012-2013 that didn’t work out. She’s been around so long we take her for granted, but then she went away and upon returning it was like, Oh thank GOD, Michelle Pfeiffer is back. We don’t really have a “young Michelle Pfeiffer”. There’s no one working on her frequency. So we need her to be doing her Michelle Pfeiffer thing because when she leaves, it’s a void. (Ditto for Sharon Stone.) Basically Michelle Pfeiffer is a finite resource and we should appreciate her more. So maybe she took a break to rebuild some mystery, remind us that she is a special talent, and create a void only she can fill. She’s manipulating the Michelle Pfeiffer market with insider trading, but you can’t argue with the results. Because now that she’s back, everyone wants to Pfeifferize their projects. Now, take five minutes imagining Angelina Jolie and Michelle Pfeiffer in the same movie, and bliss out.