Dear Gossips,

Sarah Jessica Parker was not at the MET Gala last night. And she was missed. She was f-cking missed. You know what would be a disaster for Anna Wintour? If both SJP and Rihanna didn’t show. Let this be a prayer: please, in the future, there should never, ever be a MET Gala without both SJP and Rihanna. At least one of them has to be there. Solange too.

Because otherwise, who would hold it down? Who could we depend on to bring it, on theme, for the art of the fashion? Definitely not Diane Kruger. It is time, once and for all, to remove Diane Kruger from the list, the style list. Any style list. She has lost any right to be on the style list with what she wore at the 2017 MET Gala when the Costume Institute was honouring Rei Kawakubo...and this – THIS! – is what she decided on? Did Comme Des Garcons become the Fall of the Roman Empire, what the F-CK, Diane Kruger?

And what the F-CK, so many others?

Here’s how this works: if you go to the MET Gala and you show up on the MiniVan Majority’s (aka Facebook) Best Dressed List? It’s not a win. Unless the theme is Style For Basics, you don’t win. This year’s theme was Art Of The In-Between. The suggested attire: “avant-garde”. Avant-garde is licence to play. It’s the one fashion event of the year where you are encouraged to giv’er. To really explore the other. To be subversive. This is why SJP is consistently so dependable at the MET Gala. Because she’s not afraid to imagine.

So, yes, there will be a lot of yelling in today’s posts. Yelling at them and probably yelling at each other. You will be yelling at us. We will be yelling right back at you. But please, please don’t yell at us about not including models. Every year, someone emails about such-and-such model, a last name that’s somethingy-iova, and nobody here cares. Unless, of course, that model happens to be one of the co-chairs of the event. In that case, game on.

We’ve been writing all night, we have over 30 posts planned today. So it’ll be several pages of content. If you’re joining us late, please scroll down to access the previous pages. And, as always, email us, tweet at us, shout at us. Fighting about the MET Gala is really the f-cking best. 

Yours in gossip,