Moonfall, the dumbest movie of 2022, is here with a new trailer about the moon obliterating Earth. Or maybe it’s really the secret aliens—robots?—that have been hiding inside the moon trying to kill us. Either way, the moon is the harbinger of our doom, which is slanderous because the SUN is our mortal space enemy, not the calm, quiet moon, but what Moonfall presupposes is: what if the moon was secretly evil? I am here for the evil moon and its secret robot—alien?—army! I love the moon, so timeless and wise in its silver silence, and now the moon is coming to step on my neck. Crush me, moon daddy!
At one point in this trailer, Patrick Wilson says, “We are just inside the moon,” with a completely straight face and we just do NOT spend enough time talking about what a great actor Patrick Wilson is. I sincerely believe the Oscars need a category for “stupidest line delivered with straightest face” because that is a special talent and not every actor has it. Some of them must suggest, through tone or gesture, that they are in on the joke. Don’t worry, audience, I know this is stupid, too! That is not Patrick Wilson. Patrick Wilson is COMMITTED. Patrick Wilson does NOT flinch. Give him some dumb f-cking sh-t to say, and he will SAY it with his WHOLE chest. That’s why he keeps showing up in stuff like Moonfall and Aquaman. Not only does he immediately class up the joint, but he will also make your godawful dialogue sound like motherf-cking Shakespeare. Samwell Tarly nailed it, that IS the greatest sentence anyone has ever said, because Patrick Wilson makes it sound like real, human words and not completely insane gobbledygook. I cannot WAIT for this stupid f-cking movie to come out.
Attached - Halle Berry out in New York yesterday.