Dear Gossips,


The Year of the Ox has arrived! 

If you’ve been a regular visitor here over the years, you may remember that my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, provided annual Chinese Zodiac advisories for each of the 12 signs leading up to Lunar New Year. Last year, though, when she turned 70, she scaled back her output because at her age it’s conservation time. So it’s not going to be as extensive as it’s been in the past. But there are a few things to note. 


According to ma, the lucky colour for the Year of the Ox is burgundy so if there are days this year when you need some luck, try burgundy. Among the 12 signs of the Chinese zodiac, there are high-key signs and there are low-key signs. The Ox is one of the more lower-key signs. The Ox is not a party sign, LOL. Rather the Ox is basically known for labour, a steady, hard worker. If you are born under the sign of the Ox, then, like me, rewards come after effort; an Ox’s best investment is in the work, and not in quick riches. There are certain signs, for example, who are well-suited to the stock market. The Ox’s potential success is directedly connected to what they put into their foundation, the metaphorical land, if you will. 

So if you are an Ox, this year in particular, it is recommended that you avoid major renovations at home. Don’t f-ck with your roof, your flooring, your walls. Minor cosmetic home improvements are fine. You want to put up a shelf? Go for it. You want to tear down a wall and expand your kitchen? Wait until next year. You want to replace the carpet with hardwood? Pause for now, it’ll be better in 12 months. The key for the Ox this year is stability.


Because this year, for everyone, and not just the Ox, may be a year of movement. It’s a special year on the calendar as the calendar has shifted slightly; this is some complicated moon cycle business that I’m too much of an amateur to understand, but the point is, there’s going to be movement. Movement isn’t necessarily negative; the key to succeeding during movement is to keep a steady core. Think of it like the principles of exercise – you can move around and do all kinds of sh-t so long as your core is strong. 

So this note from ma applies to all signs during the Year of the Ox: 

Don’t f-ck with sh-t if you don’t have to. But don’t be afraid if some sh-t comes to f-ck with you. The key is to meet it, and not run. 


That applies to Lara Jean Covey, who has always run from what she’s afraid of but now, in To All The Boys: Always and Forever, the last chapter of her story, LJ has to face the future! People are crying about this already even though Netflix only released it a few hours ago. What will LJ choose? And is Peter Kavinsky a part of it? 

By the way, Lara Jean Covey is played by Lana Condor who is… you guessed it… an Ox. 

May the Year of the Ox reunite us. May we have the tenacity of the Ox to push us through adversity. All an Ox wants is to work hard, play hard, and love hard. May we all have the opportunity and the energy to go hard like the Ox.


Yours in gossip,