SPOILERS AHEAD

The White Lotus may be the last TV show that is collectively watched and discussed on Twitter. And not just the finale, but the entire season had many people dissecting and analyzing and guessing and theorizing, me included. 

 

The great thing about the show is that you can take it as a character study or as eye candy lifestyle porn or as a mystery and it all works. Layers, baby!

So with that, I have some pressing theories/questions/loose ends that I want to address, including my own *controversial* opinion on Tanya. 

Did Harper/Cameron and Ethan/Daphne each cheat on their respective marriages?

Vulture, Variety and Deadline have done a lot of interviews with the cast.

Theo James shared his take with Vulture and makes a lot of sense: 

“In terms of what specifically happened, though, it was probably more than she let on by half. Maybe not the most extreme version of that scenario, but there was something else.” So they did more than kiss but less than all-out f-cking. 

But creator and writer Mike White says…

“The question of whether Harper and Cameron did more than the kiss, I think probably that’s just all that happened.” 

 

Did Daphne and Ethan f-ck in the cave?

Theo James told Vulture that’s “opaque” and White told Deadline, “Did Ethan and Daphne have some kind of a dalliance on the island or whatever happened? That allows [Ethan] to let go of the jealousy that has been brewing with him.” 

The domino effect of the night in Noto was a hard reset for Harper and Ethan’s marriage and the unknown of what exactly happened is what got them to a good place. We (the audience) will never really know and neither will the characters.

Does Cameron know that his son might not be his biological child?

This theory was tweeted and gained a lot of traction. Respectfully, this does not work for me because why would a narcissist like Cameron pretend to care about a child that isn’t his? I think Cam has no idea that Daphne actually cheats on him (his ego is way too big!) and even if confronted with the possibility, he would never believe it. 

The more likely scenario, as put forth by author and spectacular tweeter Bolu Babalola (get her books for Christmas – Love in Colour and Honey and Spice!) is that Cam’s entire life is putting on that face. 

 

Three marriages, one story?

Brian Moylan – who heads up the Housewives Institute (thank you for your service, Brian!) dropped this tweet and there’s something poetic about it: the idealism crushed by infidelity and complacency in marriage. 

My theory on Tanya

A meme was born on Sunday night and while Tanya’s panic was entirely justified (some sh-t was going down), I don’t think the gays were going to kill her. Think about it: they had ample opportunity. 

 

A slight nudge would have sent her off into the sea, never to be found. One bad line of coke could have done it. A “heart attack” in her sleep. Disappearing her after a night of drinking. They would not need a mobster with rope and a gun to do it. I think the point was to scare her (that is why money was brought up on the boat), not to actually murder her. It was going to be blackmail and yes, Greg was in on it (while separately having an affair, which probably continued on from the first season).

The fact that she panicked, murdered a bunch of people, and then tripped and died anyway, is trag-comic, very fitting with the show. 

RIP to a real one.

Portia… what the f-ck are you wearing

Before Sunday’s finale, some people thought Portia would rush in and save the day. Please. She complained about an all-expenses paid trip to Italy the entire time she was there, did very little work but kept crying about how stressed she was and has zero instinct for danger. (Tip: don’t ask your kidnapper pressing questions while you are in a car with them. And if he gets out to smoke, drive away!)

Fine, she’s young and looking for adventure and doesn’t know what adventure is. As Tanya said, they were both empty holes waiting to be filled and will always find themselves in the wrong place because of it. (See: Portia giving Albie her number even though she is escaping the country under very odd circumstances.) And Jack was not deranged… he was actually pretty cool considering the situation! He was in trouble himself and still helped her and gave her back her phone. I suspect he was possibly a sex worker and I hope he made it out of Sicily OK. The only island he should be on is Love Island.

 

As for Tanya and Portia, there was no love there and it was a perfect encapsulation of a modern working relationship. There was no mentor/saviour/mother-daughter bond that formed. Tanya was her psycho boss and Portia was her annoying and incompetent assistant. These two women did not owe each other anything and did the bare minimum. Portia did not seem that concerned at the airport and Tanya waited far too long to tell Portia about Jack. Absolutely zero sentimentality here and it worked – Portia is from a generation that doesn’t idol the girl boss or any boss. I do wish Tanya had lived long enough to see the monstrosity that was the scarf on Portia’s hat.