Jessica! Happy Birthday! It shouldn’t feel awkward at all – I’m here to celebrate you! By request, here are Beyoncé and Celine Dion. 

Since it was the American Music Awards last night, let’s do a throwback to the Queen at the AMAs in 2008, performing “Single Ladies”. May your confidence and your energy for the year ahead be like Beyoncé ponytail during this performance: never faltering, and as steadfast as ever. Seriously, this ponytail DOES NOT MOVE.



But in the event that you are feeling low at some point, because reality keeps finding new ways to f-ck us up, let Celine remind you that no matter what, “The Show Must Go On”. She’ll sing you through the tunnel!


Best to you and… and same time next year.