Jay Z Jake doesn’t show As you already know, Jake wasn"t there on Monday night. Three out of the four major stars of Brokeback showed up and he decided not to come. Why? Well the official answer is that he was working. A new movie called Zodiac. Apparently he couldn"t get By Lainey • Jan 18, 2006 07:00 am
The Drew Debate So my inbox was absolutely flooded with your complaints, protesting that Drew Barrymore should have been selected for Worst Breasts at the Globes instead of my original pick Alanis Morrissette First of all, I hear you. Drew sagged. And she sagged A LOT. But in my opinion, there"s By Lainey • Jan 18, 2006 07:00 am
Gwyneth Paltrow Gwyneth & AnTony What’s this about? Well, an email today from Sofia M.J. summed it all up: “Why do you insist on heaping so much love on Gwyneth, especially after that ridiciculous show of affectation in the Golden Globes where she pronounced Mr. Hopkin"s name as Antony. For such By Lainey • Jan 18, 2006 07:00 am
Last Word Alright y’all. It’s been almost 24 hours of straight smutting for me since Sunday. Must get some rest and see about the day job. Also have to tabulate your Golden Globe ballots…which means next column won’t be til Wednesday night, with whatever delicious post-party scoop that By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Elton John Best Man: Johnny Depp I know it should be George and I certainly love George to pieces but when Johnny’s in the house and he’s wearing red and he’s dirty and sexy and naughty and a little weird, how can it be anyone but him??? By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Natalie Portman Best Dressed: Natalie Portman I saw her arrive and I swooned. Natalie Portman is perfection. Absolute divine perfection. I’m telling you, these photos do not do her justice. She was gorgeous, she was classic, she was adorable, she was refreshingly modest, and she reminds me of the old Winona Ryder, who could also By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Sarah Jessica Parker The SJP Award for Most Desperate: Kate Beckinsale Once upon a time, Sarah Jessica used to arrive at these awards shows screaming – please, please look at me. Please, please pick me! Pick me for best dressed. Pick me please!! These days however, the dubious honour has passed to Kate Beckinsale who wanted to be noticed so badly I By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Anne Hathaway Worst Dressed: Anne Hathaway It all comes down to body type. This girl is clearly not made to be this thin. It warps her face and I can’t look at her for too long. She frightens me. The dress itself wasn’t horrible, it just wasn’t very flattering. But I take exception By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Stacy Ann Ferguson Most Budget Trash: Fergie Who the hell invited her??? And when you’re dating someone as hot at Josh Duhamel, wouldn’t you work a little harder to overcome the gigantic flaw that is your face? How about dressing that tight little body up in a sexy gown? How about taking a SHOWER! How By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Renee Zellweger Most Sour and Parched: Renee Zellweger Was it just me or did she act like she totally didn’t want to be there? Poor thing. I know she’s suffering from a broken marriage. I know she can’t find lasting love. I know she has a terrible love/hate relationship with food. But for the By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Sarah Jessica Parker Most Predictable – Sarah Jessica Parker Strapless dress, hair swept back into a big bun, light lips, baby doll voice, nerve-grating giggle giggle, and dandy pandy husband. Who am I??? Yes, gossips. It’s SJP in yet another lovely but played out number. No, it’s not offensive, per se. And yes, I’m happy she By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Worst Junkie: Jonathan Rhys Meyers Obnoxious acceptance speech. Totally pompous. Rude. Disrespectful. And disturbingly glassy-eyed. See for yourself. So how many of you think he was completely sober tonight? By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Charlize Theron Most Insufferable: Charlize Theron From one cranky bitch to another – I found Charlize blah at best and downright irritating at worst. Same holier than thou attitude, same constipated expression… thank Goddess she didn’t win. I don’t know if I could handle it if Charlize Theron became a 2 time Oscar winner. As By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Tom Ford Best Boozer: Harrison Ford The man was bombed! And this should not come as a shocker to longtime readers of this column. Still, the fact that he brought his cocktail up on stage with him cracked me up. Pathetic and sad? Yes. Highly amusing? Yes as well. Just as long as they don’t By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Gwyneth Paltrow Most Avant-garde: Gwyneth Paltrow You are welcome to accuse me of being biased but in a sea of ordinary, safe, ho hum dresses, my idol showed up tonight and set another standard. Very few actresses can pull off this kind of creativity. Nicole Kidman yes. Naomi Watts, too. And Charlize, when she yanks the By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
Reese Witherspoon Most Disappointing: Reese Witherspoon I think I might have heard something about vintage Chanel. Whatever it was, it sucked. Didn’t work for me. I suspect it didn’t work for many of you either. And her acceptance speech was forgettable at best. I was however quite entertained by the rare and very outward By Lainey • Jan 16, 2006 07:00 am
