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Aside from the gay midget blip on her resumé, I am fond of Penelope Cruz. I am fond of her in particular because she has a real body. After all, how many Hollwood actors proudly show off such lurvely curves? If only we could eternally sunshine the crazy off her past - Pene would be perfect. Which brings me to another pressing question: what do you reckon should be the statute of limitations on scientological contamination? Is it a lifetime stain? Or would you say complete forgiveness only after a decade and TOTAL repudiation of the Church? Tell me gossips…how should we write the rulebook?

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