Kathleen here. Lainey is nursing her flu so that she can be back in action tomorrow, ready to receive all of our love and attention ON HER BIRTHDAY. Has she mentioned that it’s her birthday? Do not forget that it’s Lainey’s birthday tomorrow. Pray to Beyoncé that she feels better. 

Pete Davidson gave a very revealing interview to Howard Stern. He covered a lot of topics but the one making the most headlines is his sex life with Ariana Grande. Pete talks about how he used to, ahem, relieve himself while thinking about Ariana and now he’s so grateful that he gets that, um, release in real life that he literally thanks her during sex. That’s the most PG thing I can repeat that Pete said of their sexy times. Keep in mind, Pete Davidson is a comedian. Is this funny? Would you think this was funny if this was your man? (Dlisted) 

Noah Centineo has asked his fans to stop stalking him in airports after an incident at JFK. I haven’t been to JFK in years, I swear. I have air tight alibis for every date in question. I am still an adult. I limit my stalking to the Internet. Peter Noah told this story on Kimmel, which just distracted me for a solid 10 minutes because I had to watch it twice. (Cele|bitchy) 

Appropriate wedding attire is always a hot topic. Can you wear white? Can you wear something that outshines the bride? Can you dress like a Jennifer Lopez in Vegas tour costume? The answer to all of these questions is NO. Apparently, no one told Cheryl, the artist formerly known as Cheryl Cole Tweedy All of the Last Names. (Go Fug Yourself) 

The words “Zendaya is Meechee” might mean nothing to you. Or they mean everything. I don’t understand why this is so addictive but for some reason everyone, including Zendaya, is obsessed with #ZendayaIsMeechee. (Pajiba) 

It is not nice to laugh at someone else’s misfortune. Usually, I wouldn’t be amused by anyone’s financial troubles but I may have had to stifle a giggle when I read that Dina Lohan is filing for bankruptcy. I know, I know, it’s terrible. I’m a bad person. But Dina is over 1.5 million dollars in debt while her daughter is dancing badly in Mykonos. Lindsay bending and snapping in Mykonos is all that popped into my head when I read this story. I had to laugh. (TMZ)

I’m still not caught up on season two of Riverdale. Every time I try, I give up when I hear the name “Tall Boy.” This video of Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart talking about their first impressions of each other almost makes me want to give it another shot. Their show is trash but they’re still cute. Bughead forever! (E! Online)