Kensington Palace this morning confirmed more details about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s wedding. It’s happening at 12 noon local time on May 19th. So if you’re in the Eastern time zone in America, that’s 7am. Very reasonable on a Saturday morning. Get up at 6am. Go poo if you’re lucky, make some breakfast, coffee if that’s your thing, or a mimosa, park yourself in front of the TV, get your royal wedding off for a couple of hours, and you still have the whole day ahead of you. If you’re are in the UK, apply the same, only you get it for lunch. And in Asia, this is a perfect night to stay in for dinner. Australia? This is happening at 11pm. Right before bedtime? 

The service will take an hour and then, at 1pm local:

Royal people operate with military timing. This might be my favourite royal quality: punctuality. I covered William and Kate’s wedding and my spot was at the Duke of York monument. They sent out a schedule to the media leading up to the event and I’m telling you, the carriage passed when they said it would pass, to the f-cking minute. 

So. The carriage ride. This is what people were wondering about when it was first announced that Harry and Meghan would marry in Windsor – whether or not there would be a procession so that the people could celebrate along with them. The people are getting their carriage ride. Meghan is getting her carriage ride. And it might even be a prettier carriage ride than Will and Kate’s. Because it’s the Long Walk. If you’ve been to Windsor, you know that’s a pretty spectacular view. If you’re planning a trip to Windsor for the wedding, make time for a walk in Windsor Great Park. You can see the Long Walk from Snow Hill and the statue of King George III. 

Here’s another reason why the carriage ride is important: if you’re riding in a carriage, this affects the dress choice. It’ll be a dress suited to a carriage in practicality, sure (a cathedral length veil might not work here), but also in drama. We’re not getting a slip dress is what I’m saying. Not that that was ever an actual possibility but now it’s even more remote. When you’re sitting in a carriage, it’s waist-up photographs. So, chances are, there’s going to be a party up top. And since those tight ass pearl-clutchers would probably bitch about strapless, they’ll have to make up for the party up top with either lace or beading. Seeing as Kate already went with lace… is Meghan going for some beading instead? 

Word is they’ve confirmed the dress. There were rumours last week that it would Roland Mouret. Roland Mouret, though, is not usually known for a lot of intricate beading. Construction, yes. And shapes, yes. But beading…not really. Do you think it’s going to be Roland Mouret? We should do some kind of designer prediction sweepstakes, shouldn’t we?