Dear Gossips, 

The cover of the Fall 2021 issue of PEOPLE’s British royals quarterly features Prince William and Kate with a headline about how they are “ready to lead a modern monarchy”. They are the British royal hope for the future. But … what about the present? 


Well, the present is currently a mess. 

You’ve heard about Prince Charles’s “cash-for-honours” scandal? Michael Fawcett, one of Charles’s most trusted aides, and the chief executive at the Prince’s Foundation, has temporarily resigned from his post amid allegations that he was dealing out peerages and honourary titles and British citizenship in exchange for charitable donations. Clarence House has denied that Charles had any involvement, implying that if there were backroom deals happening where peerages and citizenship were traded, Michael Fawcett would have acted alone without signoff from Charles. 

Per Harper’s Bazaar

“Both The Sunday Times and Mail on Sunday newspapers recently reported that Fawcett had helped support a campaign for businessman and philanthropist Dr. Mahfouz Marei Mubarak bin Mahfouz to obtain royal honors and a British citizenship in exchange for donations to royal charities, including the Prince’s Foundation. After giving more than $2 million (£1.5 million) toward restoration projects close to Charles, the heir was photographed presenting Mahfouz an honorary CBE—the highest-ranking Order of the British Empire award—at a private ceremony at Buckingham Palace in November 2016.”


Not a good look, an understatement. Clarence House may be insisting that Prince Charles had nothing to do with it but as influential as Michael Fawcett is in royal circles, securing an OBE requires some palace involvement, and the fact that Charles did the presentation to Mahfouz himself, it seems like a stretch to believe that he’d be completely oblivious to the shenanigans. 

But let’s play that out – let’s take Charles’s denial at face value, that he had no idea what was happening and thought everything was above board. Well then it calls into question his leadership. Did he not ask questions? Why didn’t he have all the information? How often is he left in the dark about how his foundation works? Aren’t we constantly being told by the Prince of Wales’s people that he’s the right person to lead the monarchy? That he’s got his sh-t together? That he’s ready to be the patriarch? To wear the crown? To carry on the example of propriety and good judgement upheld by his mother the Queen for all these decades? 



Speaking of propriety and good judgement… 

Prince Andrew, friend of the dead rapist pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, is now at Balmoral. You’ll recall, last month, after Virginia Roberts Giuffre announced that she was suing him for sexual abuse, Andrew booked it to Balmoral to hide out in his mother’s castle. He returned to his residence, Royal Lodge, a few weeks later, but has returned to Balmoral to be with his mother, reportedly because he’s anxious about getting served.

Apparently Andrew was bored on his own multi-acre estate and felt it was safer to be in Scotland where mummy can tell all the bad people to leave him alone. 


Charles was also in Scotland yesterday on a museum tour with Camilla in Glasgow. He hosted Boris Johnson at Balmoral with the Queen a few days ago. And in true British royal tradition, they’re hoping all of this will just go away – the cash-for-honours allegations, the rape allegations… 

Eventually people will forget about it right? Because, you know, what’s corruption and sex abuse when you’re a British royal? Isn’t that, like, their historical family legacy? But guest-edit a fashion magazine? How dare you. 

Yours in gossip,