Prince William and Catherine spend a lot of time at Anmer Hall, their home in Norfolk. Apparently the social circle there is called the “Turnip toffs”. Kate’s BFF among the Turnip toffs used to be Rose Hanbury. Supposedly, according to the Sun, they’ve now fallen out. Rose is the Marchioness of Cholmondeley (“Cholmondeley” passes the Microsoft Word spell-check even though I’ve never used it before on this device which, I guess, means it’s an old ass English proper name), a former model, and she’s married to David Rocksavage (which does not pass spell-check), the Marquess of Cholmondeley, and apparently Kate wants her “phased out” – the implication being that… I dunno… she’s jealous that Rose also has long brown hair and is attractive? According to the Turnip toff gossip hotline, William is trying to make peace between the two but Kate refuses. Is Kate the Regina George of Norfolk? Is this like Big Little Lies but in the English countryside? 

I mean, it’s possible. Rich people can take petty to a whole new level – they have so much more time on their hands. You know what’s interesting though? After multiple articles about this situation in the Sun and the Daily Mail, Richard Kay, one of the Mail’s royal correspondents wrote a column yesterday to defend Kate, wondering if she’s the “real victim of aristocratic dinner party gossip”, disputing the veracity of the reporting on Kate’s alleged feud with Rose, and giving a long list of reasons House Cambridge is unimpeachable and how unfair it is that people are trying to ruin their reputations. Of course, in the process, he takes a shot at House Sussex:

For William and Kate the developments are especially troubling. They have always been enormously careful about friendships and they have placed a premium on trust. 

They have eschewed the celebrity friends that Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex appear to like to surround themselves with.

No friends of Kate have gone chatting to gossipy magazines as Meghan’s have done to People and Vanity Fair. 
As a royal wife and mother, Kate has never put a foot wrong, her family are loyal and discreet. She carries out her official duties with enthusiasm.

She and William have not been photographed exchanging so much as a cross word in public. 

But while William has never indulged in the kind of ‘what Meghan wants, Meghan gets’ foot-stamping as Prince Harry is said to have done, he knows how important she is as a mother and a future queen.

And if this whole sorry episode turns out to be some cack-handed attempt to dent Kate’s unshakeable standing with the public, it has almost certainly backfired.
Take it easy, Richard. We can hear you panting. And that’s rather generous, non? Where was this benefit of the doubt when everyone was trying to rumour that Kate and Meghan weren’t getting along? Isn’t it just as plausible, if not more, for two Turnip toff moms to be rivaling each other for who makes the best scones as it is for two royal sisters-in-law to be jealous of each other? 

And, again, how come it’s always the women who are bitchy with each other and not the men, the ones who hold the titles and the money, and are constantly dick-swinging about land and castles? Who would have a bigger ego than the future king of England and a dude from Cholmondeley which is actually pronounced “CHUMLEY”?