Reality Recap: Drama, dinner, London

The split between Denise Richards and Aaron Phypers just got a whole lot messier after he claimed she failed to file his adoption papers for her daughter, Eloise. Meanwhile, Denise is saying he’s refusing to leave their home in Calabasas despite being evicted. It looks like Drew and Porsha are finally on good terms again after being photographed together. Danny Booko liked this comment, indicating where he stands in his feelings about Brittany causing havoc for him and his wife this season on The Valley. And we are less than a month out from the premiere of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and yet again, it looks like a promising season.  

Tamra remains at the centre of Real Housewives of Orange County drama

Over in New Orleans, the cast of Real Housewives of Orange County are dealing with the fallout after a heated dinner. The night ended in Tamra leaving after her attempt to pin Gretchen and Katie against each other in order to get back into Gretchen’s good graces didn’t work. 

When Gretchen was adamant that she didn’t believe Tamra (who was alleging that Katie had been telling journalists Gretchen said she felt like she had been drugged by Tamra the night of ‘naked wasted’ nearly 20 years ago), she, in true Tamra fashion, got pissed off, stormed out, said she’d be leaving the show, and posted an image of her in the airport with a sentiment about the importance of mental health. Oh, Tamra.

With her gone from New Orleans, the group moves on just fine, and even seems lighter, save for Shannon being late to their alligator bayou excursion and that pissing just about everyone off. After the bayou, they get together for oysters. 

The topic from the night before comes up and Gina tells the group that she was curious about the rumour that Tamra had spread, so she reached out to the journalist, Kiki Monique. Gina reveals that there may have been merit to what Tamra was saying, but still, it’s clear Gretchen is riding for Katie and urges everyone to look at the pattern of how Tamra has negatively impacted every single person in the group. 

Back at home with Tamra, she books a therapy appointment. During the conversation with her therapist, she breaks down the events from her perspective and we see her victim complex at work. At one point, producers show the phone call she made to Teddi, which she insists was to check on Teddi, but we all know it was because she was looking for sympathy from someone she knew was on her side. What stood out to me in this replay was Teddi’s voicemail insisting the caller not leave a message and Tamra disobeying that request anyway. The woman is fighting cancer, Tamra, surely you can do what she asks.

The girls get together without Tamra or Katie and more details about the rumour come out. Katie reveals that she was instructed to protect Gretchen and says she’s beginning to feel like a pawn. She also says she has some resentment towards Jen because she knows the truth, too. Next episode, we’ll be seeing Kiki Monique on camera and that should set the record straight.

Seville trip is anything but ideal for Real Housewives of Miami

What the f-ck is going on over in Spain? Cameras pick back up at a chaotic dinner in Seville where former friends Larsa and Lisa yet again find themselves at odds over…well, lots. 

The tension between these two has been brewing from the beginning of the season due to Lisa and her partner Jody still maintaining a friendship with Larsa’s ex, Marcus Jordan. Despite them (kinda sorta) hashing things out, when Larsa discovers that Lisa is still following Marcus on Instagram after she agreed to unfollow him, things boil over again. This disrupts the group’s Spain trip and especially the group dinner where a lot went down.

To recap: Lisa, knee deep in legal trouble, receives a phone call while at the table stating that she needed to get papers signed off on within a pretty tight timeline. This throws off the entire vibe at dinner, prompting an already-pissed Larsa to say that she would be leaving the trip because she was tired of Lisa’s drama. In a shocking turn of events, Larsa never left. 

While some of the women agree that Lisa’s legal issues do often negatively impact the group dynamic, that she should not still be following Marcus, and that Jody should not be inserting himself into the beef between Lisa and Larsa by sending Larsa angry text messages, not everyone agrees that now is the best time to hold Lisa’s feet to the fire given the trouble she’s dealing with.

When it comes out that Lisa had been taking notes about all of the names Larsa has called her, the group mostly felt like it was an indication that she couldn’t be trusted. But Adriana didn’t think it was a bad idea, particularly as it pertained to wanting to keep things straight and likely doing so on the advice of her lawyer. I, too, agree that this is actually a great idea, especially with what I’ve learned about memory and how unreliable it can be. 

At a later dinner, the group finds themselves at odds again after Adriana instructed Kiki to ‘stop being so ratchet’. While some of the group members, like Alexia and Stephanie, seem to understand the racial implications of this particular word, others, including Julia, thought Kiki was ‘overreacting’. As always, a few cast members storm out and go their separate ways, annoyed at the fact that the group was incapable of having a nice meal together. 

Throughout all of this, its clear how much time the group has spent pandering to Larsa and Lisa over their issues and even Alexia, in the midst of her split-but-still-together with Todd. Think about the sheer amount of emotional support they’ve offered to these women. Yet someone like Guerdy, who quite literally just wrapped up the fight for her life, has not received even a sliver of those resources, and has instead been ridiculed and criticized by the group. Make it make sense!

Real Housewives of London is off to fiery start

This week, Real Housewives of London premiered and it did not disappoint. We’ve got a remarkably diverse cast that includes a Jamaican woman, a Singaporean-Egyptian woman and an Iranian woman who fled Iran during the revolution. It’s a huge departure from the original Ladies of London series and that’s not a bad thing.

Besides the diversity, perhaps the most noticeable thing about this cast is the sheer level of wealth we’re dealing with – a relief to fans who have long been awaiting the return of the type of wealth we’ve seen in the past from housewives like Nina Ali, Kathy Hilton and Diana Jenkins.

The real estate porn we see on this show is fantastic. Between Karen’s 4.5-million pound renovation that’s been going on for years and Amanda’s completely gutted and redone home/office/event venue, this is exactly what fans have been wanting to see. Luxury. Shoes and bags that cost an insane amount of money. And kilos of caviar.

I’m obsessed with how production managed the introductions, giving each woman individual camera and confessional time while showing us bits and pieces of their daily life. It made it very easy to get the gist of everyone’s personality, before ultimately bringing them all together for Amanda’s International Women’s Day event, which was thwarted by Panthea, who I will be referring to as Petty Panthea (in the most endearing way possible). 

I immediately took to Panthea because she’s got high energy. She says what she means and she says it with her chest. I love that she was open about not being entirely certain her husband could afford her. I love that she embraces being a housewife. I love that she admitted to being childish in confrontations. But what I love most is that we actually saw all of it. 

Arriving to the event late, she barged right in and went straight for Juliet, telling her they didn’t need to be fake with each other after a drama she refers to as “teethgate”. Essentially, her and Juliet have a mutual friend, who she introduced to Juliet. The friend is a dentist who was tasked with fixing an issue with Panthea’s son’s teeth. But when he got back from the dentist, rather than a fixed tooth, he had 6-7 fillings and no X-ray to show for it because the dentist didn’t have the right glue and never bothered with X-rays.

Panthea’s beef is that Juliet never reached out to Panthea to try to help fix the situation between her two friends. Instead, she took the dentist’s side. And as with every housewife, loyalty matters a lot to Panthea. So while Panthea was on the attack about that, it naturally opened the door for Panthea to levy attacks against Juliet in front of the other women because Juliet, according to Panthea, is also a clothes borrower. I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that this dispute about teeth and borrowing clothes took place at an International Women’s Day event of all places.

In the season lookahead, we see the return of Caroline Stanbury (whose facelift looks amazing), and there’s a surprise appearance by none other than Dorinda Medley, which certainly wasn’t on my bingo card. Between cameos from some of our old faves, an insane amount of riches, constant mentions of the royal family and petty drama, it looks like we’re in for a wild ride.