MET Pain: Renee Zellweger

Does that hurt? Because it looks like it hurts. To be her. It looks like it hurts a lot to be Renee Zellweger. Some stars, you see them, you feel comfortable, at ease, very relaxed. Other stars, like Renee, as soon as the photo comes up you cringe, there’s an ache in your back, you automatically adjust, maybe rub out a shoulder.

Transfer Pain.

She’s giving it to you. She’s trying so hard to pose that her pain is so palpable, it’s coming out of the photograph and into your own muscles.

Like, does the dress have to be so tight? Imagine how small it is, this dress, to be almost too small for her, to the point where I don’t know if she can walk. Was it necessary? Would she have looked fat in a size up?

Back in the day in China, my crazy people they used to bind the feet of young girls. And when the feet were unbound they were all cracked and crooked and nasty and stank. Sometimes I look at Renee, when she’s encased in a strapless dress on some red carpet, and I wonder if it’s the same. If that’s how she slimmed herself down, if not literally than figuratively, because, really, it’s the same extreme.

Ps. It’s Carolina Herrera. She ALWAYS wears Herrera. And it’s ALWAYs like this. So she’s disqualified.



Photos from Wenn.com and Stephen Lovekin/TIMOTHY A. CLARY/Gettyimages.com