Are you going to tell me I’m dumb for being excited about the Roseanne revival? And that I’m so happy Dan is back? And that I’m confused about how they’re bringing him back? But I also don’t care all that much because, again, I’m pretty excited that it’s coming back? But only in March. Which still feels so far away. But not as far away as whenever the f-ck the final season of Game Of Thrones will be ready. At this point it’s looking more and more like 2019. (Dlisted)

As previously mentioned, I love an ugly Christmas sweater. Will Smith’s ugly Christmas sweater is spectacular. I want it. So bad. DINGLEBERRIES! Is there a dingleberries emoji? I don’t use emojis, ever. I don’t even use the poo emoji, and I love poo. But if there was a dingleberries emoji, I might be tempted to use it, exclusively. For any and every occasion. (Cele|bitchy) 

Fact: Nicolas Cage is an Oscar winner. Fact: Nicolas Cage has made some truly bonkers movies. This new movie is batsh-t. And … I’m kinda into it? Relax, parents. Nobody is saying that this should be real life. But this is satire for you, because kids can be ungrateful, selfish assholes. So, maybe, let Nicolas and Selma Blair play out your fantasy rage, in a way that doesn’t mean anything and you’re not a bad mom or dad if you watch it and you don’t have to bitch about this on Facebook, about how morally wrong it is. Come on. It’s Nicolas Cage. Can you think of a better actor to take on this role? (Pop Sugar) 

This woman is indeed awesome. Her name is Mahshid Mazooji. And she did not have a meltdown when she missed a connecting flight and had to spend the night at the airport. I consider this a profile in courage – because if that were me, I would have avoided all people and parked myself in a corner, alone in my hate of the world. Or I would have been frantically running around looking for wifi. (Pajiba) 

I had to read this story twice to make sure I got it. Here’s what I think happened: on New Year’s Eve last year, an entire hotel floor was booked out by swingers. The intention, I imagine, was to make swinging easier. You just hop from one room to the next? This sounds very organised and I am impressed. (TMZ) 

Brange is over. Hollywood currently does not have a supercouple, even though JLO and ARod keep trying. But Hollywood doesn’t matter to a younger generation. For them, it’s all about "Hannie”. Who? You know the answer to this if there’s a teenager in your life. (Daily Beast)