Sean Penn wrote a new book – have you heard about this? Remember that Bob Honey something something book he wrote a few years? It was …not a good book. People read it and they were like, this is sh-t. Maybe the people were wrong? Because they agreed to publish a sequel. And Sean’s been saying that the critics only fueled him to write more. That’s probably why he’s reading mean tweets on Kimmel? Anyway, can we let this be a lesson? Maybe what we need to do is NOT sh-t (publicly) on his book and that’ll prevent him from writing another one? (Dlisted) 

Since I am so obsessed with poo, obviously I care a lot about toilets. I prefer North American toilets over European ones. European ones are too skinny, I feel like half my ass is in the bowl. A few years ago I went to dinner at a hotel where the toilets were black. WHY!?! You need to be able to see your sh-t, literally! Otherwise, how do you know if you need to flush again? Anyway, here’s a really famous gold toilet. I don’t know if I could sh-t in a gold toilet. I have problems at the best of times and the gold would give me even more performance anxiety. (Pajiba) 

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley really does look good at the valet. This is a great skirt on her, the perfect length. I’m not sold on the boots though. I was, at first, and then I looked closely and it’s not a round toe. Why did they have to square off the toe like that? Why couldn’t it just be a round toe? (Go Fug Yourself) 

Reese Witherspoon is partial to bulldogs. I am partial to beagles, because I live with beagles. But my second favourite dog is probably a bulldog, since a bulldog was the reason I have dogs at all. A friend of mine asked me to dog sit her puppy for a few weeks 17 years ago now. And I fell in love. His name was Nelson. He slept like he was a little engine. His farts smelled so bad. He was beautiful and sweet and I will love him forever. (Cele|bitchy) 

People are already starting to think about Halloween and I’m not going to dump on this because I’ve already started thinking about Halloween for the two TV shows I'm on. I already know what I want to be for Halloween. Or WHO I want to be for Halloween. Last year I won Halloween as Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born. Is a Halloween costume like a wedding dress? You don’t reveal it until the day? Or do you tell people in advance what your costume is? I’m not telling anyone because I’m not sure we can put it together – or if it will even get approved by the network bosses. Anyway, here’s a quiz that will tell you what to be for Halloween. I got Fiona from Shameless. That is not f-cking happening. (Buzzfeed)