Ashlee Simpson Gwyneth Paltrow: 34 is black & blue The only way to kick off the column, especially in her honour, and 34 never looked so good. Such a fantastic patented Paltrow comeback to wipe away the Isotoners, and bring us back to basis - the basics of Gwyneth style, not for everyone, yes I know. Not for the By Lainey • Sep 28, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson One Simpson Success Even though she barely looks like herself these days, even though she allegedly sought the assistance of the Hollywood Diet Doctors for rapid thinnification, even though she"s the daughter of a creepy Papa Pimp, I have to tell you… I"m impressed. Ashlee Simpson has engineered herself By Lainey • Sep 27, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica Simpson: smart move #1 Well well. Looks like she"s not completely hopeless after all. And it also looks like she might have taken that my bit of advice to heart from the other day: "Time for a new team, honey. Starting with the father. In fact, get rid of ALL the By Lainey • Sep 08, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica’s Downward Spiral I’d say it’s time for an emergency Simpson Summit, wouldn’t you? I mean at this point, even I’m feeling a little sorry for the poor little twat. And if the bleeding doesn’t stop, I fear we might have another Hollywood breakdown on our hands. Let’ By Lainey • Sep 07, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson The Daily Hairapy: Jessica Simpson If you"re going to chew me out for selling out, read this first, because selling out for Sunsilk once every few weeks pays for my bitch and it pays for gaygays and it pays for snarky smut- so will you forgive and excuse it and help a girl By Lainey • Sep 06, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica Simpson: Suck "n" Sprinkle If you"re one of those prudish types, STOP READING NOW. And consider yourself warned. Otherwise, don"t be bitching to my inbox about crass and crude and blah blah blah. After all, smut is nothing if it ain"t dirty. Right then. About this Jessica Simpson/ By Lainey • Aug 31, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica Simpson: why big is bad So you know my stance against big boobs, right? Quick recap - I have "em, I hate "em, if I had the courage, I"d lop "em off and risk divorce. Mostly because they"re a motherf&ckin" nuisance. But also because in By Lainey • Aug 30, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Ashlee Simpson: Becoming Jennifer Grey If you"re devoted to Dirty Dancing, the original of course, in which Baby should never be put in a corner, you should be familiar with Jennifer Grey, once a promising actress with a bright future and a unique, hawkey kinda nose - distinctive, different, delightful. And then she By Lainey • Aug 23, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jess & Ken: Like Fag, Like Hag I"m starting to have a crisis of confidence about Jessica Simpson. Is it just me? It must just be me. Maybe I"m the one with low classy taste. Maybe I"m the only one who fails to see the brilliance in all of this. Because By Lainey • Aug 23, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Lindsay Lohan: big sister Everyone seems to be making a big deal about Demi’s little red nose the other night after celebrating Rumer’s 18th birthday in LA, alongside family and friends, including the notorious Lindsay Lohan. And while I prefer to turn a naïve and blind eye to whatever it was that By Lainey • Aug 21, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson The Daily Dress-off: Christina vs Jessica Two ladies out for dinner - both dressed to kill, both dressed to impress, and who impressed the most? DEFINITELY Christina, non? Sure I"m pro-love for Simpson of late, but a floor length gown for no special reason, for no red carpet? Especially when your hairgay didn" By Lainey • Aug 16, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson The Daily Overload: Ocean & the Boys Bring it Hard Holy Mother of Loin Quivering Hotness. It"s too much. It"s much too much. Brad, George, Matt - Matt who normally doesn"t bring the quiver - I"m lightheaded, I"m dizzy, I"m swooning, I.Can"t.Get.Enough. Again, By Lainey • Aug 09, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Thawing out for Jessica Simpson Every Wednesday, I do a five minute radio spot on Flow 93.5 in Toronto with Devo Brown. Devo is delightful but he is also delusional and week after week for months now, I have been raggin" on his ass for obsessing over Jessica Simpson - after all, what By Lainey • Aug 09, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica horny, Ashlee near death What the hell is going on here? Are the Simpsons becoming the Olsens? One is big-lipped and blonde, the other dark and emaciated, barely able to smile, let along walk herself to her car. Safe to say Joe Simpson will not be welcomed by the Goddess, savvy? Gotta love Jessie& By Lainey • Aug 02, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Keira Knightley is NOT anorexic…yet My mother sucks at being wrong. And in my quest to be nothing like my mother, I’ve endeavoured to always admit when I’m mistaken, even if it kills me in the process. A couple of weeks ago, after seeing Keira at the London premiere of Pirates, wearing a By Lainey • Jul 26, 2006 08:00 am
Ashlee Simpson Jessica Simpson at TRL In my shallow, materialistic mind, most women fall under 2 style categories: 1. Women who dress for women 2. Women who dress for men And please save it with the “I dress for myself” song and dance. You’re reading a gossip column – you really want me to feign profundity By Lainey • Jul 21, 2006 08:00 am
