Assy Style New Year toe, ring Christina Aguilera has apparently been waving around a new ring. You know, I don’t get ring porn. Or bauble porn of any kind. I guess I’m dumb because of the value discrepancy but a good bag excites me so much more than a diamond. And, frankly, I find By Lainey • Jan 04, 2011 09:03 am
Assy Style New Year, Same Porny When I saw these photos of my Porny on New Year’s Eve in Aspen with her golddigging future husband, I wondered whether or not I knew the meaning of real, profound love. The kind real, profound love that moves one to abandon all senses, especially sight, and waddle out By Lainey • Jan 03, 2011 02:19 am
Assy Style A Very Porny Christmas My Porny Jessica Simpson just celebrated her first Christmas with golddigger Eric Johnson. According to her Twitter, they were at her parents’, and she called him the “perfect” addition. Because, even though she runs an almost billion dollar business, she’ll always be the second class citizen in a relationship. By Lainey • Dec 29, 2010 02:45 am
Assy Style She’s not allowed to have friends I’ve been meaning to gather the Best Twi-Hard Hatemail of 2010 for a year-end post but last night my laptop decided to be a bitch and die after I plugged it into the tv. The motherf-cker isn’t even 6 months old. Jacek has been trying to recover my By Lainey • Dec 28, 2010 05:26 am
Assy Style Christina gets away with it So... She announces her divorce. Then hooks up five minutes later with her very own Kevin Federline who was an assistant on the set of Burlesque and now they’re inseparable... and somehow she manages to escape the cheater slap. How? Some would say that Christina’s people strategised well. By Lainey • Dec 17, 2010 04:30 am
Assy Style Euro style sh-ts It’s a photo heavy post because I’m not splitting up multiple articles to cover all the Jolie’s sartorial sh-ts from The Tourist premiere and photocalls in Italy and Spain. Let’s start from Wednesday night. Those assy satin pants. Even the Jolie, with her spindly legs, can’ By Lainey • Dec 17, 2010 03:02 am
Maple Leaf Gift giving: Nathan Fillion I receive a lot of requests for Nathan Fillion. And because he’s not a cover boy, he’s very rarely papped. It was a nice surprise then to see these shots of him, taken the other night, as he and his girlfriend were leaving dinner. Erm. I’m not By Lainey • Dec 16, 2010 03:27 am
BFFs What’s with the white? My G wore white again to the Hollywood premiere of Country Strong last night. We already know she has too much superiority up her ass. Is this really the way to convince us that she can play country-worn, fragile on the outside but on the inside is something you can’ By Lainey • Dec 15, 2010 03:09 am
Assy Style Photo Assumption: Brad’s side-eye I wonder if he sees it like we do when it comes to her style. In the first picture attached check out Brad Pitt’s side-eye. Photo Assumption says he’s thinking “Bitch, what do I have to do to get you to let me dress you?” I see Angelina By Lainey • Dec 15, 2010 02:16 am
BFFs Gwyneth Paltrow: Swifty for her star GOOP received her star on the Walk of Fame today. Totally masturbatory exercise, obviously, in time to support Country Strong. Which is why Tim McGraw and Shana Feste were there, her co-star and director, and also Faith Hill, and Matthew Morrison too, just to remind you that she sang on By Lainey • Dec 13, 2010 09:22 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Jolie’s hair & the Chosen One Nutcracker Fresh off her premiere last night, the Jolie was right back at it today with her first four children. Check out Maddox all gangsta with his fur hood. And Miss Zahara who couldn’t help but break bitchface to laugh with her sister the Chosen One who has apparently decided By Lainey • Dec 07, 2010 09:08 am
Assy Style Can’t you help her with her hair? Please. Brad Pitt knows. How to dress. Always. He has always cared about his appearance, he has always, always been a badass steezy motherf-cker. Look at him. See? Hot. And then there’s the Jolie, here last night at the New York premiere of The Tourist, in a very serviceable By Lainey • Dec 07, 2010 02:15 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Marion Cotillard: the inevitable question Marion Cotillard and Guillaume Cotillard attended the Marrakesh Film Festival this weekend – first the opening gala, where she wore that print dress with the feathers around the collar, and then the Tribute to French Cinema, where she was dressed in black, and on both occasions... I know what you’re By Lainey • Dec 06, 2010 07:25 am
Assy Style Love & Other Drugs in Australia Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal spent the weekend in Sydney promoting the movie. A reader there called Aphrodite K hit up the premiere and wrote me the cutest email with her observations. Today, December 6 2010, I had my first (brief, glorious) encounter with Jake Gyllenhaal, more affectionately known as By Lainey • Dec 06, 2010 03:34 am
Assy Style Porny plays the Doctor Game & Sailor Suits My Porny Simpson’s engagement was the top story for, oh, maybe 5 minutes. Then Prince William came along and shot her ass off the front page. Swifty and Jakey kept her off too. Now the Brange is dominating the spotlight to sell their new projects... So what does a By Lainey • Dec 01, 2010 04:15 am
Assy Style Johnny Vanity Fair & Winona at 18 Finally. Something to do with Johnny Depp and The Tourist and he doesn’t look like a bloated loser, the way he’s presented in the trailer. You don’t think I want to enjoy Johnny and the Jolie, together for the first time, the way we all expect it? By Lainey • Nov 30, 2010 02:42 am
