Assy Style Robo’s two big bags Her bag bag, the white one, and this dumbass dress she’s wearing. SO unflattering. Can you imagine? Having all that money? And blowing it on stupid f-cking clothes? Katie Holmes was photographed shopping yesterday in LA, fresh off her Gumby-like appearance in Washington last weekend. And before you ask. By Lainey • May 28, 2009 03:27 am
Parent Pimps Porny makes it pay It’s the Papa Joe way! Profit from EVERYTHING. And why not? Sounds like Porny Simpson is going back to reality where she saw the most success. On the heels of the amazing photos of her singing at the Chilli Country Cook Off wearing the best pants ever, Us Weekly By Lainey • May 27, 2009 08:25 am
Assy Style A list at the beach Are Tom Hanks’s jeans too tight? I don’t want Tom Hanks to be Tight Jeans Guy. Not his best moment. So apparently Joel Silver threw a Memorial Day party or something and a lot of famous people showed up including Tom and Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal. Hm. By Lainey • May 26, 2009 03:01 am
Assy Style Robo Gumby We all want Katie Holmes to start thinking more independently. But maybe not when it comes to her clothing. Because it’s getting worse. Please stop her from dressing herself. It’s one thing to put on something unflattering, it’s entirely another to put on something that makes you By Lainey • May 25, 2009 02:19 am
Famewhores Shelf AssTalk Just received an email on my blackberry from my friend Lara. The title: Puuleaazzee! The link: Shelf Ass complaining about being too hot to work as an actress. Yeah she’s on the cover of the new Allure Magazine. The entire article appears to be a series of “sit DOWN” By Lainey • May 19, 2009 02:07 am
Assy Style Vagina Virgins cross the pond They were in London today promoting something – maybe a movie? Yes, probably. The movie that did not fare very well at the North American box office. Apparently their tv show wasn’t a huge success either. Not great news for a “band” about to release their fourth album Lines, Vines, By Lainey • May 12, 2009 09:39 am
Assy Style He’s here… And I’m leaving. Russell Brand left LA for Vegas yesterday. He was photographed at the airport with a female companion talking on his cell phone but astutely covering his mouth. Apparently the paps can lipread. Makes sense. Posting about him always elicits quite the response from many of you. By Lainey • May 12, 2009 02:40 am
Douchebags Punk Ass like Porny? A little, right? I smell some Jessica Simpson on Avril Lavigne…you? Porny would totally wear this tacky ass dress. She’d fill it out better up top but still, there’s an unmistakable trace of hillbilly trailer flavour here that has suddenly splashed itself all over Punk Ass Avril By Lainey • May 11, 2009 06:22 am
Assy Style Style > Sight It’s Vanessa Hudgens at the Diesel men’s fragrance launch the other night in LA. Still have no idea what we’re supposed to do with her. Now also have no idea how she sees. Am old. Don’t understand the kids these days. Have a look at Vanessa’ By Lainey • May 11, 2009 06:09 am
Xenu Smut Robo Mother of the Bride This is the problem: we’re misled these days that if we put our minds to it, “we can do anything”. Xenu says that through consistent and expensive auditing, “nothing is impossible”. Must be why Katie Holmes continues to believe she’s a f-cking clothing designer even though everything she’ By Lainey • May 11, 2009 03:26 am
Famewhores Looking uncomfortable Jennifer Aniston’s new movie Management screened last night in New York. Here she is outside the theatre. Great that she’s not wearing black. Not so great because grey appears to be her new black. All the time. Not sure this is doing anything for her. Especially around the By Lainey • May 06, 2009 03:38 am
Gossip Girl The purple is back Chuck’s purple was missing for a few. It was back last night. And as Michelle noted, some sh-t went down. Not the most well-acted episode, but great escapist fun. Group plotting against one thieving bitch with impossible resources. Please! We all dreamed of a similar takedown in high school. By Lainey • May 05, 2009 01:24 pm
Famewhores Shelfy the bride Who got married yesterday? You would think it was Shelf Ass. It was her special day. Let me explain. At every photo agency database it was pretty much the same – two women occupied more pages and image space than any others. The first… Madonna. Obviously. The second. Jessica f-cking Biel. By Lainey • May 05, 2009 07:18 am
Assy Style Swank sag tits That episode of The Office – Hilary Swank, pretty or not? Please. Why is this even a debate? Maybe it’s just me. I don’t like her. I don’t like how she outed her ex husband as an addict in an interview with a dishy magazine. I also don’ By Lainey • May 05, 2009 05:44 am
Assy Style Supermodel Cougar Fack. This is not Teri Hatcher. Or Kelly Preston in that Maroon 5 video. This is Cindy Crawford. Cindy Crawford, whose husband is being sued for sexual harrassment after years of loud whispers about his philandering ways as George Clooney steps up to defend him. Her dress says it all, By Lainey • May 05, 2009 05:30 am
Assy Style Overdress-Off! Battle of the overdressers: In one corner, the usual. Who else? Kate Beckinsale. F-ck! Does she have to? Can she help herself? Kate Beckinsale does not know the meaning of restraint. None. It’s Marchesa. No wonder I hate it. Besides, Penelope Cruz did this already and better. Her opponent: By Lainey • May 05, 2009 04:47 am
