Assy Style Globes Worst Black: Renee Zellweger Most will probably be naming her Worst Dressed today. But that’s too easy. And it’s also unappreciative. Because some choices are so spectacularly bad, they serve to entertain and the assyness of Renee Zellweger last night was amazing. We should be thanking her. You were gaping, right? You By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 03:29 am
Assy Style Globes Worst White: Eva Mendes Her necklace, yes. But she looks the same. Over and over again, she’s wearing the same strapless dress in a different colour and her hair’s up and teased with a fringe…again. That’s the thing about this girl. She’s so attractive and yet she totally fades By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 02:56 am
Assy Style Globes Worst Colour: Eva Longoria Like, why does she even matter anymore? Why is she presenting? Who cares? It’s Eva Longoria! She’s the afterthought in the Posh/Katie/Beckinsale friend posse. She’s the hanger-on at the party. She’s totally 2004. And she’s a pageant girl forever. Holy mother of Vanessa By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 02:34 am
Assy Style Globe Neutrals: Demi/Pene/Salma Wasn’t feeling it. All those neutrals, nudes, and light grey. Meh. Even Salma who is ordinarily spectacular. Meh. The ageless Demi, perhaps the best of the boring because of her great hair and Ashton is a babe, but still… meh. And Penelope Cruz especially. Washed her out. And I’ By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 02:31 am
Assy Style Globes Worst Hair: Debra Messing Sit DOWN Debra Messing. Better yet – go away. Am so over her. And that hair. That hair had desperation all over and inside of it. That hair had her agent and her publicist lurking around it. Her entire talent team randomly popping out of it, begging someone, anyone, especially Jeff By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 01:48 am
Gossip Girl Globes Worst Fit: Blake Lively Like by 2 sizes. At least. Chill before you start foaming at the mouth and composing that hate mail. Am not saying she’s big. Of course she’s not big. But she’s making herself look bigger by stuffing her body into a dress that doesn’t fit. Take By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 01:27 am
Assy Style The two that don’t belong Eva Longoria and Katy Perry… On EVERY level. Like WAY out of their league. And of course they both look like ass. Total ASS. Katy, poor thing, appears to be completely overwhelmed and tried too hard with that ridiculous dress. What the hell is she doing there??? And Eva, oh By Lainey • Jan 09, 2009 01:36 am
Girly Throw Downs The People’s Manslinger vs AssTalk Kate Hudson vs Katherine Heigl. KH vs KH Hudson at one point owned the market on dumbass chick flicks. As you know, she keeps making the same one over and over again. But Katherine Heigl invaded her territory last year with 27 Dresses. And succeeded. And then Kate told some By Lainey • Jan 08, 2009 02:04 am
Assy Style The People’s Country Matchy She went shopping for her dresses at Arlene’s Fashion Emporium. Seriously, there’s cheapness smeared all over them. This is Carrie Underwood at the People’s Choice Awards last night arriving in some kind of bedazzler and then on stage in a low budge green tier pageant cast-off with… By Lainey • Jan 08, 2009 01:48 am
Assy Style Bride Ass Overdresed Kate Hudson was everywhere yesterday in New York, hitting up the talk show circuit and also the red carpet for Bride Wars. First at Letterman in a green sparkly thing and who cares about the dress when there’s an ass to be had? Manslinger has an ass. Damn that By Lainey • Jan 06, 2009 02:00 am
Maple Leaf Alanis minus 20 Am so not feeling Alanis Morrissette in OK! Magazine gushing about her 20 pound weight loss. Can’t put my finger on it but just isn’t sitting right. Maybe it’s because the styling is for sh-t. Who decided to put her in a long purple dress with those By Lainey • Jan 02, 2009 06:35 am
Assy Style NYE CarbFace and Bad Hair In Miami at LIV at the Fountainebleau – Nick and Nessa in matching shiny sheen delight. But not really. Vanessa Minnillo is such a beautiful girl in real life. But her persistent pageant styles are for sh-t. And not sure what she’s doing with that hair. Nick Lachey, after outselling By Lainey • Jan 01, 2009 06:22 am
Assy Style In the corner where she belongs Kevin Federline Junior and his wife thought that maybe someone would care about her post-baby 50 pound weight loss after just 6 months. The only takers were the folks at the bottom feeding In Touch Weekly (only $2.99!) but definitely, definitely not as the main cover story, hell no. By Lainey • Dec 31, 2008 03:04 am
Assy Style After boyfriend jeans… Comes cut off shorts over stirrup leggings. Will it catch on? Check out Katie Holmes leaving her apartment yesterday headed to work on Broadway. As you can see, she’s trying out a new trend, not unlike the whole boyfriend jeans thing from earlier this year which, for many of By Lainey • Dec 29, 2008 02:06 am
Assy Style New hair, boot cut jeans Twilight super losers were stabbing themselves with wooden spikes this weekend, inconsolable over Robert Pattinson’s new shorter haircut. No seriously, for reals. Even People.com is running a likey/no likely poll. Whatever. He’s a beautiful boy with a beautiful face, hair or no hair. More pressing then By Lainey • Dec 22, 2008 04:15 am
Assy Style Best of 2008: Supergay, superspray, Super Bowl Remember Travolty at the Super Bowl in Phoenix? Fluffing it up with spray paint? Michelle and I were able to look at it up close when we saw him on the carpet. All I could think about when I was speaking to him was whether or not that sh-t is By Lainey • Dec 18, 2008 02:05 am
