Assy Style Worst Oscar Hair: Alicia Keys This hurts me. Very badly. Because I love her. She is perfect. She is kind and smart and she purrs. Michelle says she purrs when she talks. She can purr in my ear all day. Of course she’s sooooo beautiful too. But the hair, the hair is so obviously By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 03:18 am
Award Season Hair 2009 Best Oscar Bitch Face: Penelope Cruz Apparently winning an Oscar now gives her the right to demonstrate her Bitch Face. Amazing. At the very end of the Hugh Jackman/Beyonce/Mamma Mia number, Hugh shouted out “Musicals are back”! Or something to that effect. Take a look at Pene’s expression. She does not agree. Penelope By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 02:54 am
Twilight Oscar Open Mouth Posing: Robert Pattinson Again…back to the pool feed. Laura, my producer, who is still aching for him, almost launched herself off the balcony when he walked by. This is after Daniel Craig, her other love, had passed earlier and she barely reacted except to hiss into my face: Satsuki is ugly! We’ By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 02:33 am
Assy Style Oscar LipGloss and borrowed prunes: Zac Efron & VH MK Olsen, having no use for them anymore after the Spirit Awards, loaned her prunes to Vanessa Hudgens last night who gave them a very good workout, in between moments when she wasn’t scowling about her dress. Bitch, if you can’t control the dress, don’t f-ckin’ wear By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 02:12 am
Assy Style Worst Oscar Couple: SJP & Matthew Broderick He was BORED. He looked bored from the moment they arrived, he looked bored up and down the carpet, he looked bored at Vanity Fair, he looked bored because he wasn’t doing what HE wanted. This photo of them touching noses – the man is straight up queasy at the By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 01:58 am
Gorgessity Best Oscar couple: Josh Brolin and Diane Lane He flew way under the radar this awards season in a category dominated by Heath Ledger. Best part about Josh Brolin however is that he didn’t seem to mind. They were chill last night he and Diane. Very relaxed, enjoying the moment, knowing there was no chance, totally free By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 01:49 am
Assy Style Worst Oscar Red: Amanda Seyfried You know I love her. And her hair in Mamma Mia was my hair inspiration last night. Amanda Seyfried is definitely a “next”. Most of Meryl’s girls are: Emily Blunt, Amy Adams, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfriend… only Lindsay Lohan managed to f-ck it up. But Amanda, for her first By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 01:11 am
Ebola Victims Oscar Ebola Victim: Mickey Rourke Loki could not save Mickey. Oh Loki. You saw it coming, didn’t you? Last Monday in New York, Mickey Rourke stumbles into Butter and it happens to be Ebola Paris Hilton’s birthday party. Instead of leaving, he sits down and celebrates with her… and suddenly his beloved dog By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 12:53 am
Cheese Best Oscar Actors and a Cheese It’s quite a group isn’t it? Can you picture Mickey sliding in there? No… Mickey is not one of them. Adrien Brody is very much one of them, even though he’s a hypocrite douche. Like, did you hear him during the presentation? While introducing Richard Jenkins, he By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 12:38 am
Assy Style Worst Oscar Ming Vase: Beyonce She’s killing that song for me. Is she killing it for you? Suddenly At Last has become Beyonce’s signature song. Suddenly At Last is getting removed from my iPod. First though, let’s start with the carpet dress. The carpet dress was the ass. The carpet dress blinded By Lainey • Feb 23, 2009 12:04 am
Baby and Bump Obsession Oscar Slumdog! Those kids… you had to see those kids! In person those kids made the night. Look at them all dressed up and excited! It was bedtime for them when I was leaving the press room. Ran into the Slumdog child contingent on their way out of the Governor’s Ball. By Lainey • Feb 22, 2009 11:46 pm
Assy Style Oscar cheap tacky TV: Melissa George Another case of who-invited-you-and-what-is-your-name. I don’t know…apparently she’s on Grey’s Anatomy now? Yes, this is a television show. So how did Melissa George score a ticket? Oh right. Disney. ABC. Grey’s. Ugh. It was embarrassing watching her. Embarrassing looking at her dress. Especially the back By Lainey • Feb 22, 2009 11:30 pm
Award Season Hair 2009 Best Oscar Tilda: Tilda Swinton Here’s the thing – you probably hate this. But you’re not Tilda Swinton. Tilda Swinton isn’t a pretty strapless gown kind of girl. Actually, Tilda is not a girl period. Tilda is a woman. Her own woman. And she dresses for herself. And it’s not mainstream, it’ By Lainey • Feb 22, 2009 11:22 pm
Style Oscar Rerun: Heidi Klum Why does Heidi Klum go to the Oscars? Don’t understand why she’s invited year after year. Nothing against her but there’s just no sense to it. None. And didn’t she wear almost the same thing last time? It was red, and kinda origami-ish, and if not By Lainey • Feb 22, 2009 11:13 pm
Award Season Hair 2009 Oscars 2009 Wrap-Up They said they would shake things up. Well, they shook up some parts, but it still ended up being too long. And, more importantly, FEELING too long. The entire middle section was Benjamin Button. So there is no way Danny Glover stayed awake. None. Hugh Jackman? If I’m honest, By Lainey • Feb 22, 2009 11:06 pm
Quiveration Supporting Spirits Best Supporting Actor and Actress at the Independent Spirit Awards happening right now in Santa Monica: James Franco for Milk and Penelope Cruz for Vicky Christina Barcelona. Yes! Here’s James during arrivals – not sure who he’s with. Does he have a girl? Is she his girl? If so, By Lainey • Feb 21, 2009 10:58 am
