Best of 2009 Best of 2009: Johnny’s Birthday Entertainment Weekly named him Best of the Decade. For damn sure. He totally owned it. Up and down and all around, with the arty pics and the big blockbusters, and the cool factor, and the transition – from tortured bad boy to enigmatic family man, no one is the Depp. And By Lainey • Dec 31, 2009 10:06 am
Assy Style Best of 2009: Porny at the Chili Cook-off! Please. You know it was coming. There’s a special place in my heart for Jessica Simpson. She isn’t evil inside like Ebola Hilton. Porny’s issues stem from her father’s f-ckery, and the lack of true friendship and brain mass. But she’s not ill intentioned. There By Lainey • Dec 31, 2009 09:51 am
Style Best of 2009: It’s a famine of beauty! It’s a famine of beauty, honey! My eyes are stahving for beauty! This was my ringtone for a few months earlier in the year. Oh Andre Leon Talley. Oh Anna Wintour. Or Grace f-cking brilliant Coddington… It’s not just the quote, it’s every minute of The September By Lainey • Dec 31, 2009 03:30 am
Quiveration Worst of 2009: Ed Westwick at Teen Choice You’ve blocked it out, haven’t you? My Shamef-ck showed up at Teen Choice in August shamef-cking me to hell in his rolled up jeans and no socks and loafers, puckering his lips and posing like a cross dressing private school punk ballerina stuck inside a music box, what? By Lainey • Dec 30, 2009 03:23 am
Twilight Best of 2009: Belligerate! I was originally planning to write one massive Twi-Hard hatemail post to commemorate their email amazingness over the last year but then new photos of Robert Pattinson emerged today so why not split them up, highlighting some of the best? I wonder if you’ve forgotten some of their gems. By Lainey • Dec 29, 2009 04:20 am
Amazingness Best of 2009: Neil Patrick Harris He was everywhere, but not too much. He was nominated but didn’t win. He is nominated for a Golden Globe but will not host the show. He did however host the Tony Awards and the Emmy Awards and totally owned both nights and looked really, really handsome doing it. By Lainey • Dec 24, 2009 03:22 am
Dumbass Worst of 2009: Robo Dance For weeks she was at the dance studio, and the paps were waiting, and the publicists were whipping us all into an anticipatory frenzy – Katie Holmes to perform on So You Think You Can Dance! Then she went to Australia to film a new movie… What? Oh, so it was By Lainey • Dec 23, 2009 05:23 am
Best of 2009 Best of 2009: Kristen Stewart steeze Apart from that dumbass Harper’s Bazaar shoot for the Sears catalogue which was totally not her fault, Kristen Stewart made very few missteps this year on and off the carpet. Not everyone can pull off a Joan Jett mullet the way Kristen Stewart pulls off a mullet – with a By Lainey • Dec 23, 2009 03:53 am
B-tchFace Best of 2009: American Sweetheart BitchFace Nothing like a bitchface that lies underneath the milk and honey. And for so many it’s so hard to believe. Because most of her characters have such sunny dispositions. Again, why is it that people can easily accept that politicians are liars and never the actors when the actors By Lainey • Dec 22, 2009 10:32 am
Photo Assumption Worst of 2009: Clingy SJP It was the un-fun Photo Assumption, images of a wife apparently so grateful that her husband simply agreed to go out with her two nights in a row she could not conceal her gratitude and relief and insecurity on the carpet, even as photographers were shooting away. It was April By Lainey • Dec 22, 2009 03:17 am
Best of 2009 Best & Worst 2009: The attempted strangling of RP Worst obviously because those crazy bitches could have hurt him, undeterred by the piss poor security, and best obviously because for those of us who are endlessly amused by the Twi-Hardery, this was some funny sh-t. Many of you were initially skeptical about all that hatemail – when you are sane, By Lainey • Dec 21, 2009 11:10 am
Cheese Best/Worst of 2009: Fergie Wedding Cheese Maybe if you sell your wedding photos to a magazine you’re just f-cking asking for it. In light of what happened after… well… enough said. Remember these pictures? The original article is here and the entire album is here. The black and white ones, really, are the worst of By Lainey • Dec 17, 2009 09:16 am
Dumbass Worst of 2009: Pissing on Audrey Remember when Size 2 celebrated her 30th birthday by reenacting Breakfast at Tiffany’s, casting herself in the legendary role that Audrey Hepburn immortalised? F-CKERY. Of course the paps were there to document every horrible moment. Of course she felt justified because several years ago she played Audrey in a By Lainey • Dec 16, 2009 07:03 am
Girly Throw Downs Best of 2009: Blanchett BitchFace Somehow Megan Fox ended up front row at Armani in Paris. It was revealed later that she is the brand’s new underwear spokesperson. Photo Assumption says that that decision doesn’t seem to have been very well received by longtime Armani fan Ms Cate Blanchett, a style icon who By Lainey • Dec 16, 2009 03:09 am
Douchebags Best of 2009: Country B ducking She’s so f-cking famous that when she shows up at a TELEVISED hockey game in a large ass arena, she has to take cover like she’s the target of a heavy artillery attack. Carrie Underwood and Mike Fisher (who is owning it for Ottawa this year trying to By Lainey • Dec 15, 2009 08:32 am
Douchebags Best of 2009: Billy Bob Douchebag Best because he came out like a massive f-cking prick. For Billy Bob Thornton, life really was over as soon as The Jolie left him. Watching it back again, it’s even worse than I remember. And better. Back in April, BBT was in Toronto with his band promoting their By Lainey • Dec 15, 2009 04:50 am
