Bitch please Again? Last October, Michelle, Duana, and I were on a coach heading from the train station to our hotel in London. By the end of that bus ride, all the other passengers probably hated us. I had my laptop open checking email and started raging at the Adrien Brody photo spread By Lainey • Jan 29, 2009 05:11 am
Douchebags Hoax camouflage So yesterday, Entertainment Weekly, after hearing from Joaquin Phoenix sources, reported that his recent rap journey is actually an elaborate hoax to be filmed by Casey Affleck for a mockumentary about celebrity meltdowns. Today, Joaquin’s publicist is denying that his intentions are anything but sincere: "The transition from By Lainey • Jan 29, 2009 03:33 am
Douchebags Please.Make.Him.Stop Yesterday it was Scarlett Johansson vanity singing. Today, it’s that Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake vanity acting. He sat down for an interview with Katie Couric to promote the Grammys – because only HE can increase Grammy ratings! – and they discussed everything from Timbaland, to Madonna, to SNL, to Beyonce, and yes… By Lainey • Jan 29, 2009 02:35 am
Bitch please SAG Robo Why? Katie Holmes presenting Best Actor? Why? Because she’s married to Tom Cruise? Because her Little Sci is Hollywood’s most popular baby? Because the MiniVan Majority wants it to be? Yes, yes, and yes. At the very least then, Katie knew her role. She did not walk the carpet. By Lainey • Jan 26, 2009 02:47 am
Assy Style Worst SAG White: Teri Hatcher Desperate Housewives is still bringing big ratings. This explains why they’re still invited. But really…it’s not 2004 anymore. People may care about the show, but no one cares about the actors. So far all intents and purposes, it’s like they’re CSI, you know what I By Lainey • Jan 26, 2009 01:26 am
Bitch please Nobody puts Cheesy in a corner Earlier this week at the inauguration, Mimi was forced to sit among the likes of Jon Bon Jovi, Mary J Blige, Alicia Keys, and Bruce Springsteen in the VIP section. This did not please the Cheese. She apparently lost her sh-t when she found out her seat was not with By Lainey • Jan 23, 2009 06:26 am
Bitch please Miss GOOPy’s book list Thanks to all of you for forwarding. Looks like my Gwyneth has A LOT of subscribers? See? You hate her but you can’t help it! OK, just teasing. As mentioned last week, this is the one worth looking at: Gwyneth Paltrow and her friends and their recommended reading list. By Lainey • Jan 22, 2009 07:27 am
Famewhores Alba & Ebola Oscar nominations are to be announced early tomorrow morning. And I’ll be putting out a sex tape with Colin Farrell (yeah Duana, come and get it) before Jessica Alba and Ebola Hilton hear their names announced by the Academy. They do however share a dubious distinction. Both the Alba By Lainey • Jan 21, 2009 07:46 am
Gorgessity What’s up with the baby daddy? Salma Hayek, an improvement on her meh appearance at the Globes, looking gorgeous and unusually UNbusty (relatively speaking) last night at the National Board of Review awards in New York. Maybe she dialed it up a notch for her baby daddy Francois Henri-Pinault? They had dinner last night Salma but By Lainey • Jan 15, 2009 06:35 am
Bitch please Get GOOPy on your rolls! Last week it was detox, this week, Gwyneth wants to work out with you. Because after starving yourself through a detox session, it’s time to tone and tighten. So I’m 35. After my birthday I decided I’d try working out like a fiend for a while because By Lainey • Jan 08, 2009 08:06 am
Famewhores Too Easy Yesterday’s post about the Alba Bitch playing Taupe, using her kid for her career… Was pleasantly surprised to receive emails from you mommies quick to point out her fraud – apparently the hoop earrings were the telltale sign? See this is why I need you. Because of course being baby By Lainey • Jan 06, 2009 08:32 am
Bitch please GOOP is fat! Are you crusty today? Post holiday blues? If so, my Gwyneth is about to piss you off. Be warned. Or maybe that’s a good thing. You know you love to hate her. So she’s released her first GOOPy newsletter of the year – this time about detoxing. And she By Lainey • Jan 06, 2009 04:15 am
Girly Throw Downs Kiki vs MKO…and rejected too! Miami’s Art Basel convention attracted a few twats last week. Two of them apparently faced off. Wednesday night at some party, Kirsten Dunst and Mary Kate Olsen were at the same table when girl sh-t quickly ensued, probably something about who rocks a better dirty hobo style, and they By Lainey • Dec 08, 2008 01:35 am
Famewhores She speaks her own language What makes me craziest? Hearing people, when talking about celebrities, actually trying to relate to them – a frequent theme in my inbox: Lainey, be nice. Lainey, try to understand. Lainey, more compassion please. How would YOU feel if x,y, and z? Answer: I wouldn’t. Because they don’t By Lainey • Dec 02, 2008 12:47 pm
Bitch please Hello Posh dresses You know she designs “haute couture” now, right? A debut collection of 10 dresses shown in New York last week that Vogue incomprehensibly called “one of the hottest things going in New York.” Anna Wintour must be trying to sleep with David Beckham. Two of Victoria’s items are showcased By Lainey • Sep 17, 2008 06:27 am
Douchebags Dream the f&ck on, Loser! Just because David Silver grew up hot doesn’t mean he grew up worthy. Some things should simply never, ever, ever be uttered you know? Some things are so sacred it’s a travesty for the undeserving to even think it. A travesty and a f&cking crime. That By Lainey • Aug 15, 2008 03:54 am
