Break Ups CarbFace is a whiny bitch Ryan Phillippe went on Howard Stern and went waaaahhhh today when asked about his failed relationships. Apparently he’s tired of getting blamed for his split from America’s sweetheart Reese Witherspoon: "I've been dumped on in the press for relationship stuff since Reese and I divorced. By Lainey • Apr 12, 2010 11:47 am
Douchebags Sit DOWN Nicholas Sparks He’s being profiled right now because he wrote The Last Song for Miley Cyrus. And he granted an interview to USA Today during which he pretty much sucked his own dick. For real. Nicholas Sparks, the author of such cerebral fare as The Notebook and A Walk to Remember By Lainey • Apr 01, 2010 08:48 am
Douchebags BBT’s new hair Look who can’t handle aging. Billy Bob Thornton coloured his hair. And it’s all flopsy around his forehead too. Like that’ll hide his douche. Please. Nothing can hide his douche. Remember when BBT got all pissy faced on CBC Radio Q with Jian Ghomeshi because the entire By Lainey • Mar 19, 2010 05:01 am
Douchebags Little Bitch has to beg Keep begging you piece of sh-t. Chris Brown beat down his girlfriend last year. Then he went jetskiing. And he went to basketball games. And he only reported for community service because he was ordered to. And he spends more time partying with Diddy and shooting music videos than reaching By Lainey • Mar 11, 2010 04:48 am
Girly Throw Downs Sean Penn: jealous little bitch No idea at the time what the f-ck was coming out of Sean Penn’s mouth when he presented Best Actress at the Oscars on Sunday. The online community however has analysed the footage and determined he must have been referring to Robin Wright – his omission of her during his By Lainey • Mar 10, 2010 03:29 am
Douchebags Front Row TryHards It’s Fashion Week. And at the Calvin Klein show yesterday, four douches tryharded in the front row, creating a collective air of desperation that blanketed the clothes. Let’s start from right to left. It’s Jared Leto, big ass poseur hair, pretending people still want to make movies By Lainey • Feb 15, 2010 02:55 am
Douchebags Douchey is sorry. Always sorry John Mayer tweeted at New Year’s that he’d be taking some time to reflect, to cut off his Twitter musings, to try and tame his famewhore. That worked for about a week. Then he spoke to Rolling Stone and extolled the virtues of masturbation, revealing that he jerks By Lainey • Feb 11, 2010 01:54 am
Douchebags Porny Crack Best. Interview. EVER. Sure, he’s a vile pig. We’re at rehearsal right now for Olympic Morning, and I am laughing my ass off. Not because that mother-cker isn’t a sick bitch, but because it’s just another case of douche spew coming out of his mouth. Who By Lainey • Feb 10, 2010 07:17 am
Douchebags Douchey misses Swifty? Taylor Swift is touring Australia. John Mayer, in yet another cryptic tweet, posted on his Twitter a while ago that he’s missing someone. What's that song that goes "It's a quarter after one, I just huffed a can of ceiling paint and I need By Lainey • Feb 09, 2010 08:49 am
Douchebags What is your hair? Jared Leto showed up at a Calvin Klein event last night trying to resurrect his acting career with his hair… I guess. For someone like Robert Pattinson and the hair hysteria that exploded ovaries in tandem with his meteoric rise, it worked in that case because it seemed genuine. He By Lainey • Jan 29, 2010 03:01 am
Douchebags John Mayer & Keith Urban Crossroads It was taped last night. Third Lip was not seen. There was room for only one ego in the joint, it belonged to John Mayer. One source described it as follows: “he’s a rambling douche”. And his self-indulgent f-ckery wasn’t well received. Here’s an incident that sums By Lainey • Jan 27, 2010 07:59 am
Hook Ups Oh Swifty...please be careful Last night John Mayer was in Nashville for the Crossroads taping with Keith Urban. More on how that went down later. Taylor Swift attended amid speculation that she and Mayer are now dating. My sources tell me she was backstage before the show, totally crushing on him, very "smitten& By Lainey • Jan 27, 2010 06:32 am
Douchebags Mr Taupe is a sulky bitch Remember Taupe Garner’s interview with Parade? When she revealed that Ben Affleck courted her via email? Well, Ben was at Sundance the other day promoting The Company Men and was asked about Garner’s quote at which point he turned into a sulky little bitch and basically embarrassed his By Lainey • Jan 26, 2010 07:28 am
Douchebags Jennifer Aniston picks another loser Spittle Gerard Butler clearly can’t follow instruction. All he has to do is pretend to be dating Jennifer Aniston until after their movie comes out. It’s only 2 months. But 2 months is too long. Especially for a pig like Gerry. Gerry likes to paw at people randomly. By Lainey • Jan 25, 2010 02:28 am
Douchebags Worst Couple: Pity & Spittle She has spent the last 5 years trying to be known as something other than the TV Girl and the ex Mrs Pitt. Bless Ricky Gervais for introducing her as Rachel from Friends. BLESS HIM SO HARD. Oh and she felt it. Right up the slit in her leg she By Lainey • Jan 18, 2010 06:14 am
Douchebags Douchebag borrows material He’s an artist. And the thing about an artist like John Mayer, one of the most pretentious artists in the business, is that he truly believes that his sh-t is the greatest sh-t of all time. That his mind is the most unique, most original, that his thoughts are By Lainey • Jan 14, 2010 04:03 am
