Twats She can’t even handle being an extra Remember when Mischa Barton headlined a tv show? Remember when she decided she could make it in film? Remember when she failed in film but turned down a spot on Gossip Girl? Remember when her new series was cancelled after 5 minutes? Remember when she broke my arm????? Yeah well By Lainey • Jan 21, 2010 02:07 am
Bitch please Cheese Champers! Remember when drunk ass Mimi sprinkled her amazingness all over the stage at the Palm Springs Film Festival last week? She explained afterwards that she kept enjoying “splashes” of champagne throughout the night. This kills me. The Splashes. Like she wasn’t full throttling that bottle with both hands. Or By Lainey • Jan 15, 2010 11:28 am
Dumbass A tricked out vagina sells books Every dumb twat has a book out these days. Is it easy to write a book? It must be. Not for people who can actually write, of course, but definitely easy for people writing for idiots. How else can you explain Tori Spelling’s two bestsellers? Now it’s Size By Lainey • Jan 13, 2010 07:01 am
Dumbass Jay Leno, Tequila, Breezy, and Heidi And what do they have in common? People Magazine. The MiniVan’s Bible. Yay! I already mentioned in the open that People readers, purveyors of great taste, voted him their favourite host. You remember their exclusive interview conducted inside Chris Brown’s ass, don’t you? Yesterday People.com posted By Lainey • Jan 13, 2010 06:36 am
Parent Pimps Drama always wins Lindsay Lohan. She can’t follow up a win with a win. And you’d think that, especially with so few wins in her life these days, she’d at least want to savour a rare one. Oh no. This is the Lilo. And the drama always overrides everything. Friday By Lainey • Jan 11, 2010 02:48 am
Break Ups Crack tweets and thieves Happy New Year Mayhem! We’re only a full week into it and Lindsay Lohan is already f-cking around. First, she broke up with her BFF. Nickname is Pooty. Real name is Patrick Audadouche, or something. This is not important. What’s important is that she accused him of stealing By Lainey • Jan 08, 2010 03:51 am
Dumbass NBC f-ckery Like it’s not enough the way they pissed on, and continue to piss on, Friday Night Lights. Now it’s full tits drama over The Tonight Show. Would Jay Leno step OFF already? He announced he wanted to leave. So he left. Only NBC was worried he’d run By Lainey • Jan 08, 2010 02:40 am
Sit DOWN Sit DOWN JLo There was a time, in the early-ish part of the last decade, when Jennifer Lopez was as famous as one could be. But it’s 2010 now. And she can’t pass herself off as a singer anymore. And the promise of Out of Sight never really materialised. And since By Lainey • Jan 06, 2010 03:46 am
Cheese Fake castles, glass slippers, and Vagina Virgins One of the Jonas Brothers got married recently. According to Michelle’s Boy Band Theory, it was the irrelevant one. Or the least attractive one. What? It’s not like you weren’t thinking it. Anyway, the oldest Vagina Virgin is now supposedly not a Vagina Virgin anymore because there By Lainey • Dec 29, 2009 08:12 am
Dumbass Worst of 2009: Robo Dance For weeks she was at the dance studio, and the paps were waiting, and the publicists were whipping us all into an anticipatory frenzy – Katie Holmes to perform on So You Think You Can Dance! Then she went to Australia to film a new movie… What? Oh, so it was By Lainey • Dec 23, 2009 05:23 am
Would You Rather Shameless Rossum F-CK! Hollywood rapes all good things. Emmy Rossum sugar rapes every good thing. And some assholes in Hollywood have decided to let Rossum rape Shameless. Yes. It’s an American version of the show for Showtime which will star William H Macy as the Gallagher patriarch and Emmy sodding Rossum By Lainey • Dec 18, 2009 02:49 am
Dumbass Worst of 2009: Pissing on Audrey Remember when Size 2 celebrated her 30th birthday by reenacting Breakfast at Tiffany’s, casting herself in the legendary role that Audrey Hepburn immortalised? F-CKERY. Of course the paps were there to document every horrible moment. Of course she felt justified because several years ago she played Audrey in a By Lainey • Dec 16, 2009 07:03 am
Dumbass Lilo: on India and Rihanna Crack head is back from India where she claimed to have been on a humanitarian mission with the BBC to film a documentary on child trafficking, a decision that has come under heavy criticism. The Guardian asks the right question: What Has India Done to Deserve Lindsay Lohan? Child trafficking By Lainey • Dec 14, 2009 03:53 am
Douchebags Ha. Ha. Ha. And this, motherf-cker, is what you call consequences. By Lainey • Dec 11, 2009 09:25 am
Dumbass Please don’t encourage him The Hollywood Foreign Press Association. They are feeding Pippy’s ego and worse, they are giving him encouragement to keep acting. If you’ve ever seen him in a movie, from Alpha Dog to Edison to Black Snake Moan to The Love Guru, well you know. You know that encouraging By Lainey • Dec 11, 2009 02:59 am
Dumbass Give up Grey Goose… For this? The caption on these photos reads: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo promote their vodka in Hollywood, CA And it’s not like I don’t understand the value of celebrity endorsements. I get it. Of course. But what in the f-ck of the what in the what is By Lainey • Dec 10, 2009 01:02 pm
