Parent Pimps JailBait dance moves Miley Cyrus played the Honda Centre in Anaheim last night. Check out the young man grooving behind her. Good wholesome entertainment! The Cyrus Family would probably tell you that God created the crotch grab and that Jesus wanted her to stick her ass right up into it. Hey, when I By Lainey • Sep 24, 2009 07:19 am
Parent Pimps She totally hates them Miley Cyrus was photographed by the paps after lunch with her friend yesterday. Doesn’t she look like she hates the paps so much? They are vile, reprehensible creatures! This, you see, is the message she tried to convey on her Twitter yesterday: Being a paparatzi is the most DISGUISTING By Lainey • Sep 22, 2009 05:16 am
Assy Style Life without Daisy I’m not trashing Jessica Simpson for losing her dog. She might be dumb as f-ck with poor taste in men, pathetic and sad and stylistically challenged, but when it comes to the death of Daisy, I’m not jumping on the hate train with Martha Stewart and so many By Lainey • Sep 22, 2009 03:57 am
Dumbass GOOPy bitchface! GOOP the newsletter took a month off because it’s really exhausting telling people how to live. GOOP packed up the kids and went touring with Chris Martin and Coldplay. She’s kept a very low profile all summer. Last time we saw her she was in Barcelona. Now she’ By Lainey • Sep 18, 2009 07:31 am
Parent Pimps Dictionary of the Stupid Generation In Jane Bussman’s The Worst Date Ever (which you MUST read if you haven’t already) she calls it The Golden Age of Stupid, a generation of twats and toffs with no discernable personality, skill, or, for that matter, ability to communicate. This is the generation that is currently By Lainey • Sep 18, 2009 03:14 am
Dumbass Lainey’s ShameF-ck Got Some Shameful Tats My friends and I occasionally play the game of “If I were to get a tattoo, it would be a…” I once made the mistake of saying I wanted a mermaid tattoo, to which I was laughed right out of the room. I blame Madison for that one. I mean, By Lainey • Sep 15, 2009 02:48 am
Sex & the City She still looks mute They’re continuing to shoot Sex & the City 2 in New York. A familiar prop was back on set today: The mute Asian baby! Photo Assumption says she’s still mute. They put her at the lunch table again. Where are her crayons? How will they use her as By Lainey • Sep 14, 2009 11:22 am
Parent Pimps Brand shame Ran out of time and wasn’t able to address this yesterday, am sure you’ve heard – the Ungaro announcement that Lindsay Lohan has been named the brand’s “artistic adviser”. Based on what? Even Women’s Wear Daily can’t hide its disdain. The news actually leaked a few By Lainey • Sep 10, 2009 02:33 am
Dumbass Don’t yawn at your own movie This is a monumental task when your movie is called Love Happens costarring Jennifer Aniston. I can’t stop bitching about it. That title. LOVE HAPPENS. It’s the laziness that’s so insulting. Like – we can’t be bothered to come up with an original script with original characters By Lainey • Sep 09, 2009 06:08 am
Dumbass Proud Tears Look at our Porny… Yesterday at LAX with Ken Paves and her dad – her tits are under control, it’s a very flattering trench cinched at the right spot, hair is natural and unweaved, a very cute pair of shoes in a tasteful colour… There is no trace of porn. By Lainey • Sep 01, 2009 03:03 am
Dumbass Softball with Larry King As expected, CNN has confirmed that Larry King sat down with Chris Brown for an interview that will air on September 2nd. E! reports that “it was a no-holds-barred chat during which Brown answered every question put to him.” Sure. Because these are the kinds of questions that Larry King By Lainey • Aug 27, 2009 08:32 am
Dumbass Oh Rumey, shut your ass Asstalking is sweeping the continent. This time it’s my Rumer Willis. Rumey has managed to nail down a few roles here and there. Suddenly it’s gone to her head, and now she’s insisting that her 3 famous parents have nothing to do with her success. That she By Lainey • Aug 26, 2009 09:21 am
Douchebags His yellow heart is so depressed As you know, Chris Brown was sentenced yesterday for beating the sh-t out of his girlfriend although if you clicked on People.com this morning you could have assumed that Rihanna deserved this. Anyway, on the same day he was sentenced, a “depressed” Chris Brown also put in some time By Lainey • Aug 26, 2009 04:11 am
Parent Pimps Porny the judge Page Six is reporting that Jessica Simpson’s pimp father Joe has been campaigning on behalf of his daughter to replace Paula Abdul’s vacated seat at the judge’s table on American Idol. Paula set the bar so low. For singing and sanity, she set the bar low enough By Lainey • Aug 17, 2009 04:09 am
Dumbass Robo sells at Maxfield? …the f-ck??? For those who’ve never been to Maxfield in West Hollywood… Super ultra luxe. Like crazy crazy luxe. I once became obsessed with a Rick Owens jacket there and Jacek told me I could jump up his ass because it would have meant not making our car payments By Lainey • Aug 14, 2009 07:24 am
Break Ups Miley's loveache You know this generation. Nothing happens unless it happens online. Profound, emotional, relationship discussions happen online. You hookup on Facebook, you breakup over text. And you discuss your breakup on Twitter. This is how she rolls. Miley Cyrus and her loser ass 20 year old off/on boyfriend Justin Gaston By Lainey • Aug 11, 2009 12:35 pm
