Parent Pimps Papa Perv is out of his mind Out of his F-CKING mind. Page Six reports that Joe Simpson is apparently trying to capitalise on the death of Michael Jackson by “pitching a concept album” of MJ songs performed by Ashlee Simpson. Say what pimp? Like, Ashlee Simpson singing Remember the Time all pseudo emo-styles, is that what By Lainey • Jul 10, 2009 02:38 am
Twats Spraytan fries your brain Among other things. Ever heard of a movie called The Hangover? It’s this summer’s smash comedy, has grossed so far in excess of $200 million. That’s all. According to Us Weekly, the part played by Heather Graham (a stripper) was initially offered to Lindsay Lohan by director By Lainey • Jul 08, 2009 03:13 am
Twats Sit your Hills ass DOWN F-cking eejit. So Lauren Conrad was at Deluxe last week and according to Radar was apparently caught up in some drama with her boyfriend over her claim that RYAN GOSLING HIT ON HER. Say what bimbo? Yes. This was her allegation. Whined Lauren to her boyfriend Kyle: "Who does By Lainey • Jul 06, 2009 07:21 am
Dumbass Porny just in time Oh Porny! We need you! Especially since Mimi is hiding her cheese. It’s Jessica Simpson in New York last night looking surprisingly very well put together with Ken Paves and some other friends heading out for a boat cruise. We saw Ken Paves last week at the MMVAs to By Lainey • Jun 26, 2009 08:09 am
Famewhores Please let this fail quickly I know Lainey refuses to talk about this trash but I’ve got the floor this afternoon so too bad… Us is reporting that experts predict a slow decline for Jon and Kate. Apparently ratings have been falling steadily as is, and now that the clowns have announced that they’ By Lainey • Jun 23, 2009 10:03 am
Dumbass Sienna self sabotage They’d supposedly broken up – Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty – and this was a good thing. By her standards she was keeping a relatively low profile, staying out of trouble, and not stumbling out of clubs with married men. Sienna also looks great in the trailers from G.I. Joe. By Lainey • Jun 22, 2009 08:55 am
Dumbass Bad movie titles happen Jennifer Aniston's upcoming movie with Aaron Eckhart is called Love Happens. Terrible title. At one point it was Travelling. Much better. Not sure why the change. Because the MiniVan Majority responds to this sh-t? Lame. And, judging from the trailer, the film pretty much reflects the title. Once By Lainey • Jun 18, 2009 07:52 am
Dumbass Le Karl losing his touch? There was a rumour circulating last week that Karl Lagerfeld was being replaced at Chanel. Obviously a major development. The rumour was swiftly debunked. Karl is still perched in place… But at 75, maybe Karl – blasphemy! – is losing his touch? It’s not possible. But…maybe it is. Karl, as By Lainey • Jun 12, 2009 08:29 am
Dumbass GOOPy calls him William It’s Thursday. It’s GOOP day! Unfortunately this week’s GOOP is all about recipes. Cookie recipes. Boring. Also unfortunate, for her that is, careless staff. At the bottom of the newsletter that was sent out, you’ll note they’re still waiting for next week’s copy. And By Lainey • Jun 11, 2009 07:02 am
Dumbass Dumb & Indignant A terrible combination. So you’ve heard about what Jessica Alba did in Oklahoma City, right? Stupid bitch gleefully slapped shark posters all over the place – posters with no text, no explanation, in the hopes that somehow this would raise awareness about …the great white shark population? Their mating habits? By Lainey • Jun 10, 2009 03:14 am
Break Ups Chris Pine bails out He was universally ridiculed when word leaked that he was dating Audrina Patridge. Kinda like John Mayer and Jessica Simpson… only worse. Which is why he shamefacedly skipped the carpet at the Movie Awards on Sunday. ShameFace is the worst with cameras around. And now Hollyscoop is reporting that Chris By Lainey • Jun 03, 2009 01:35 pm
Dumbass All Hills look the same Viewership for The Hills has been steadily declining. Maybe it’s because they’re full of plastic sh-t. Maybe it’s because they’re all starting to look the same. California girls. Now that Audrina Patridge has lightened her hair, they’re all becoming one giant blonde Hill: long wavy By Lainey • Jun 01, 2009 03:17 am
Parent Pimps Porny makes it pay It’s the Papa Joe way! Profit from EVERYTHING. And why not? Sounds like Porny Simpson is going back to reality where she saw the most success. On the heels of the amazing photos of her singing at the Chilli Country Cook Off wearing the best pants ever, Us Weekly By Lainey • May 27, 2009 08:25 am
Maple Leaf FNL > J&K+8 Ugh. Almost 10 million watched that f-ckery Jon & Kate can’t afford to support all their babies so they exploit them on tv show last night. 10 MILLION. This morning I was on The John Gormley Show (he’s adorable and I love him) and he got me on By Lainey • May 26, 2009 04:01 pm
Hook Ups He doesn’t ask for much Just a set of fake cans. Long legs to wrap around his waist. And nothing in the way of conversation. Makes sense. After all, wouldn’t call Chris Pine the most cerebral of stars. And he’s in no danger of earning that reputation now, especially since, according to the By Lainey • May 21, 2009 05:01 am
Maple Leaf Fence sitting Brooke Last week, after Kiefer Sutherland decided to smash his head up against another dude’s face causing injury – in defence of Brooke Shields – a statement was released on her behalf that effectively sold him out. At the time, she supposedly announced via her publicists that she’d no idea why By Lainey • May 11, 2009 08:10 am
