Dumbass Alba ALMA Latina What Jessica Alba has said in the past: Alba is my last name and I'm proud of that. But that's it. My grandparents were born in California, the same as my parents, and though I may be proud of my last name, I'm American. By Lainey • Aug 18, 2008 05:28 am
Dumbass Rumey on the cover! My Rumey! On the cover of Page Six Magazine! And … a good angle! So proud! Of course, to leverage as much interest as possible in her fledgling career, Rumer discusses her family – her dad’s relationship to her stepdad, claiming that Bruce Willis and Ashton Kutcher are totally buds: “We By Lainey • Aug 14, 2008 09:22 am
Dumbass Chicken Fried Maid Ugh. Hate the word “maid”. Maybe it’s just me. More from Britney’s interview in OK! Magazine, this time about her time with her kids. The good news – Britney is in good spirits: "I'm healthy, happy and excited about the future.” Much of the reason for By Lainey • Aug 13, 2008 08:01 am
Dumbass Whatever works You know it’s desperation when you have to sell a dye job to get some play. This is what’s become of Mischa Barton – karmic bitchslap perhaps for breaking my arm. Curious little item appeared on the Us Weekly website yesterday: Mischa’s gone blonde! And she’s explaining By Lainey • Aug 12, 2008 03:17 am
Dumbass Sit DOWN Junior Federline! The 90210 comeback could have been a whole lot uglier. Thankfully for us, Tori Spelling has to feed her goldigging prick of a husband. As such, she won’t be appearing on the first episode. The official excuse was that she would be too busy with KFed Jr’s second By Lainey • Aug 11, 2008 05:21 am
Dumbass Saving Sienna Simply put, Sienna Miller is f&cked. Known internationally now for being a homewrecker, Sienna is scrambling to salvage her career. Not only are studio executives at Paramount not impressed about the near universal Sienna-hate threatening future projects, it also seems she’s receiving little sympathy from her power By Lainey • Aug 07, 2008 03:09 am
Dumbass The MiniVan hates nipples Eva Mendes stars in a new ad campaign for Calvin Klein. In the 30 second tv commercial, if you slow it down and play it back very, very, VERY meticulously, analysing every pixel, you can see a very brief glimpse of a nipple. At least they say you can. Here’ By Lainey • Aug 05, 2008 03:55 am
Marcus and Friends (dogs) Deciphering Jessica Simpson The effort is there...but so is the cheese. Granted, it’s over the top corny and I’m the bitch who’s dead inside. So most of the time, as soon as I hear the words “cherish” and “heart” in the same sentence, it’s an excuse to head By Lainey • Jul 31, 2008 07:29 am
Douchebags The Ingrate: A History The Princess of AssTalk wants off Grey’s Anatomy which is why she mouthed off a couple of weeks ago about the weakness of the writing, hiding her ulterior motives behind a pathetic attempt at “honour” to fleece the MiniVan Majority. You will note…People Magazine has still not reported By Lainey • Jun 23, 2008 02:46 am
Dumbass Him? Really? People Magazine just named its Hottest Bachelor… Mario Lopez? Call me Cruise but I’m not into beefcakes and Chippendale’s dancers. Don’t like men who walk around in beaters. Not only am I not attracted to him, I actually find it kinda repulsive. Even more, I find it By Lainey • Jun 18, 2008 03:11 am
Dumbass Ingrate Goes on Holiday The most ungrateful bitch in television packed up with her husband and headed for holiday in Cancun yesterday wearing her MiniVan Majority hairstyle and those unflattering white jeans. As you know, the Princess of AssTalk angered many last week when she publicly announced she’d withdrawn from Emmy nomination because By Lainey • Jun 16, 2008 03:56 am
Dumbass How’s This for Ungrateful? Katherine Heigl, our favourite sanctimonious bitch who can’t shut the f&ck up, has announced with great fanfare that she has taken her name out of the running for Emmy consideration. This is her statement: “I am truly grateful for the honor that the Academy bestowed upon me By Lainey • Jun 11, 2008 06:30 am
Dumbass Bros Before Hos Is that what they say? Duana was trying to remember the female equivalent last week. It came to her in the end: Chicks before dicks. But this is about Bromance… and Brody Jenner has just landed his own show on MTV, auditioning “regular” boys to be his new BFF by By Lainey • Jun 10, 2008 03:53 am
Dumbass Don’t Call Him Diddy Oh make up your f&cking mind!!! When I was 20, for some reason I had it in my head that my Chinese name was lame. I was playing a lot of mahjong back then, late night gambling sessions with the Hong Kong Hello Kitty crowd in university, listening By Lainey • Jun 09, 2008 07:19 am
