Douchebags Douche tv monologue You know John Mayer was That Kid, right? He was probably picked on in school, zitty, greasy, not down with the popular crowd…and has been carrying that around his whole life. So now even though he’s a famous rock star, he’s still living looking backwards – every move By Lainey • Jan 27, 2009 04:28 am
Famewhores Brange Family glory More photos available as many agencies are now flooding the market with their Brange Family photos from Tokyo. Can you imagine the Hello Kitty crazy? Anyway, see how the Chosen One has grown! Angelina, fresh off a long flight, looks camera ready, non? Love how Knox is wearing his daddy’ By Lainey • Jan 27, 2009 03:12 am
Famewhores Campaign with the Holy Twins! Bring out the big guns when it’s crunch time, right? And Benjamin Button has a lot of ground to make up. So the Brange arrived with the kids in Tokyo today to promote the film and it’s a clear shot of not one but BOTH twins Vivienne and By Lainey • Jan 27, 2009 02:25 am
Girly Throw Downs Boys can bitchface too! Have finally watched most of the SAG clips. Thankfully didn’t miss much. Meryl of course was delightful but for smutty tingles, the best speech of the night belonged to Sean Penn. Several reasons… First – Frank Langella’s bitchface! Angelina Jolie has kicked off an awards season trend! Only Frank’ By Lainey • Jan 27, 2009 01:13 am
Famewhores Russian Tom And Xenu loves money! As mentioned several months ago, Russia has become a must-stop on the Hollywood promotional tour. There is BIG money in Russia. And Russians seem desensitised to supercheese. So here’s Tom in Moscow at the premiere of Valkyrie last night looking all heroic and sh-t, accepting By Lainey • Jan 27, 2009 12:54 am
Famewhores Predictable Alba Jessica Alba was nominated for multiple Razzies last week despite ongoing efforts at wooing the MiniVan and playing like she’s civic minded. I wrote at the time: How long before the Alba Cow rushes out new photos of herself playing with her daughter to try and erase from public By Lainey • Jan 26, 2009 09:52 am
Famewhores Alba & Ebola Oscar nominations are to be announced early tomorrow morning. And I’ll be putting out a sex tape with Colin Farrell (yeah Duana, come and get it) before Jessica Alba and Ebola Hilton hear their names announced by the Academy. They do however share a dubious distinction. Both the Alba By Lainey • Jan 21, 2009 07:46 am
Famewhores Skinny Bitch & Old Hag Lindsay Lohan and her older sister Ali went shopping yesterday. As you can see, she’s loving her weight loss. Loving it. And she’s pretending she’d actually eat that pizza. Right. Those “on set” photos released yesterday – likely not from a film but from some low classy budget By Lainey • Jan 16, 2009 05:12 am
Twats Bottom of the barrel Looks like Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are back together. If we were playing Photo Assumption – my favourite game! – I’d say that Sam doesn’t exactly looking thrilled about it. But despite not living together anymore, Lilo insists that their love is all good. So good she gave an By Lainey • Jan 15, 2009 01:49 am
Girly Throw Downs Chicken Fried new digs She’s moving! Britney Spears is saying goodbye to the house with the ghosts – those ghosts that had to be wheeled out on a gurney just a year ago. My mother’s feng shui doctor approves. Her new home is worth almost $9 million in Calabasas. Wrote Britney on Twitter: By Lainey • Jan 14, 2009 01:34 am
Famewhores The Freeze retreats Remember in high school if something embarrassing happened in class, like in gym, maybe you bent over awkwardly and flashed your ass, or Toby told everyone he took your virginity, or you totally missed your high note at the recital, or Max declared he didn’t want to go steady By Lainey • Jan 13, 2009 02:35 am
Famewhores Globes Best Goldwhore: Jennifer Lopez This is what we live for. Attention whores and red carpet spotlight grabs. These are the moves that define smut, that shape good gossip, and once upon a time, Jennifer Lopez was our queen. Then she married Marc Anthony and he shut her away in his oppressive vampire castle. But By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 04:06 am
Famewhores Globes Best Friend: Tom Cruise Tom Cruise – he was Mr Popular last night, wasn’t he? Could not WAIT til commercial break, at which point he apparently launched himself up out of his chair in a mad dash to talk to Leo, to Kate, to Steven, to Clint, to anyone who would meet his mother. By Lainey • Jan 12, 2009 03:40 am
Famewhores Alba gets cut It’s blunt. You like? I do. She looks really young. Sigh. A fringe. I wish. But can’t. Fringe isn’t feng shui friendly during the 30s says mom. No cover up the forehead luck ah. Jessica Alba though is only 27. She has time. The new cut is By Lainey • Jan 07, 2009 09:16 am
Famewhores Late for the bag David Beckham playing for AC Milan today in Dubai. He looks great in red and white, non? Grow grow grow that hair! The entire family was there to cheer him on – all 3 Beckham boys dressed like dad. Adorable. And of course Victoria, in a killer ensemble she’s probably By Lainey • Jan 06, 2009 12:44 pm
Famewhores Too Easy Yesterday’s post about the Alba Bitch playing Taupe, using her kid for her career… Was pleasantly surprised to receive emails from you mommies quick to point out her fraud – apparently the hoop earrings were the telltale sign? See this is why I need you. Because of course being baby By Lainey • Jan 06, 2009 08:32 am
