Twats Please Take Her Picture! Perhaps second to only Heather Mills, not many women are as universally despised as Denise Richards, which is why it’s baffling that any network would give her her own reality tv show. A show in which she will gratuitously pimp her children so as to more effectively fellate the By Lainey • Apr 21, 2008 04:37 am
Twats More Like Her Mother… Every day. Lindsay Lohan spent much of the weekend in NYC trailing around Samantha Ronson accompanying her on gigs at clubs where the alcohol is freeflowing and the coke even more. Lilo reportedly danced wildly, smoked cigarettes, tossed her weave around, and rocked a few body rolls. She hung out By Lainey • Apr 20, 2008 09:26 pm
Famewhores I Don’t Know No Gays… Who think of Tori Spelling as an icon. And I know lots of gays. Not one of them – NOT ONE – can bear Tori Spelling. You know why? Because gays like pretty things. And schmaltzy singers. As you well know, Tori Spelling is not pretty. Nor is she a schmaltzy singer. By Lainey • Apr 17, 2008 08:48 am
Famewhores Jakey vs Shelfy? Shelf Ass Jessica Biel somehow conned her way into a starring role opposite Jake Gyllenhaal in Nailed, the first screenplay co-penned by Kristin Gore. No wonder she’s so happily smug…although my sources say, she needs to be careful. Jakey, you see, is not a fan of her antics. By Lainey • Apr 17, 2008 02:28 am
Famewhores Rossum Thinnification It’s been a long, long time since Emmy brought her Rossum to a red carpet. Late last year you had to scrape her off the red carpet. Because Rossum showed up at every red carpet to rape us with her sugar…thank you Keira Knightley. During the early part By Lainey • Apr 16, 2008 04:37 am
Famewhores Pip’n’Ass at the Wedding Some important person in Hollywood was married Saturday night and the wedding brought out some young heavy hitters including an Olsen, a Speedman, a Pipqueak, and a Shelf Ass. Here are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel on their way out of the reception. As you can see from Shelfy’s By Lainey • Apr 07, 2008 12:31 am
Douchebags Friday Photo Analysis Our favourite game! Making assumptions based on one photo – just like the tabloids! Ready to play? This is a series: nauseating Katherine Heigl with her husband yesterday shopping, then big smiles when the paps come around. What are you inferring? Especially from the shots of them stone faced waiting for By Lainey • Apr 04, 2008 05:33 am
Famewhores Flying with The Rossum Seriously…how many sick bags would you need if you found yourself on an airplane flying next to Emmy Rossum? Fortunately for Angela H, she was able to hold back her nausea. Unfortunately for Angela H, The Rossum ended up destroying her magazine. Here’s how it went it down: By Lainey • Mar 24, 2008 07:28 am
Douchebags KFed Jr Stefani Rossdale Jolie Pitt For some reason, some publishing company thinks that people will buy a Tori Spelling book about her life. It’s a mystery how they came to this conclusion since “Her sTori” can be summed up as follows: - famous dad + nepotism = 90210 - B List forever - Homewrecker - Famewhore By Lainey • Mar 19, 2008 07:39 am
Famewhores Love you President Bartlet Martin Sheen was honoured last night with the Stella Adler Studio of Acting Marlon Brando Award. On the carpet Marlon was asked by Page Six to comment on his slag of an ex daughter in law and her plans to prostitute her children on reality tv. That of course would By Lainey • Mar 18, 2008 10:50 am
Famewhores Shelfy Back to Brown Much better as a brunette. Here’s Jessica Biel, walking her dog, showing off her newly re-darkened natural locks after posing as a blonde for Easy Virtue. Check her out trying to “turn away” from the cameras… Ummm. Shelfy? Sit DOWN! As if she didn’t want to be photographed, By Lainey • Mar 18, 2008 10:26 am
Break Ups More Golddigger Bitch Slaps For those of you too busy or lazy to read through the entire judgment… more gems from the judge’s written decision on the McCartney Mills divorce. More incriminating details about Heather’s character, or lack thereof. Greedy, lying, conniving c-bomb. Thanks again C! You will note – for all her By Lainey • Mar 18, 2008 06:33 am
Famewhores Golddigger Slap in the Face Is there any wonder why Heather Mills is universally despised? Heather Mills threw water on Fiona Shackleton in court yesterday. Shackleton is Paul McCartney’s divorce attorney. WATER. She threw water. In court. And she finds it hard to believe she’s hard to believe??? Still…it was Shackleton and By Lainey • Mar 18, 2008 04:37 am
Twats The Perils of a Pimp Mom This is what happens when your mother is more interested in pimping you than she is in raising you. Not only do you become a drug addict, so used and loose at only 21 that even the p*ssy posse wants nothing to do with you wants nothing to do By Lainey • Mar 17, 2008 09:39 am
Famewhores One Dog Shelf Ass Shelfy Biel is back in LA after spending weeks in England fouling up a new movie version of Easy Virtue. Here she is, back to her old tricks, walking her one remaining dog in Brentwood. There was an interesting item in the last issue of Us Weekly after recent rampant By Lainey • Mar 17, 2008 07:18 am
Famewhores Granny Freeze Bat Attack! Thank you for all your emails about the Daily Mail’s analysis today of Nicole Kidman’s Bat Face. No joke. They actually compared her to a bat. Because of the freeze, of course. Because Gran can’t lay off the Botox. And they recruited a top Botox specialist to By Lainey • Mar 13, 2008 05:16 pm
